A Moment with M.O.M.- Growing Godly Character at Home

“Growing Godly Character at Home” was the message that I presented to a group of homeschool moms back in 2000 at the CHEFA conference. This is our desire isn’t it? To create home environments where children can grow in godliness and truth! We want our homes to grow children of Godly Character yet, the specifics of that quest can seem allusive at times. When you think of “growing Godly character at home” what do you think of? For myself, I instantly see a picture of me working the soil in my garden, with my small hand rake, cultivating the soil that can too quickly become hard and dry. I see myself pulling weeds that somehow missed my attention the last time and now threaten the life of my prized plant. I have that sense of long, hot and hard days, sweat drips from my brow while a variety of weeds keep me on my toes. Choke weeds literally choke the life out of my plants, thistle weeds threaten the vibrant food source of my pasture, and grasses steal the water and life from my plants ever so silently. As I consider this visual image that I create, I am reminded how my parenting often endures the same obstacles. I have children, who at times express hard and dry hearts. I have painfully and carefully tilled the soil so that the water can reach down and offer the nutrients needed. I have dealt with the “choke weeds” of life that are obvious, large, and quickly intertwine themselves with my precious children! I have had to dig down and tear out “grasses” that silently steal the life from my family. If I am lazy and only take the “tops” off, leaving the roots below, they will sprout up again quickly with roots growing deeper and deeper. When I do finally find the time and strength to “pull” these weeds the right way chances are they are going to take the soil with them. It will be painful and I will find myself repenting of not dealing with the issue correctly from the start. Growing Godly character at home is work, it is not for the faint hearted, the slothful, or the ignorant. It is a purposeful practice that is done faithful each day by the grace of God! Just like a garden that we work for our family food it is up to God what grows. We must be faithful, we must be diligent, and we must be wise to know that we are not the ones that bring forth the fruit. That alone is a work that only God can do!  How do you approach your ministry at home? Is it on purpose with prayer and action?

Consider a few of these practical weeds that may need to be pulled in your home from time to time:

• It’s important for children who grow up in  Godly homes not to just learn the “right” answers. It is vital that we remain on guard for this type of eye service and diligently deal with the real issue of the heart. Just like weeds will remain in the garden if you don’t dig up the roots so will this sinful character remain in your child until it is completely dug up. These heart issues can be hard work at times. Children can learn to “cut the tops off” so that everything looks well but the truth is that the sin is just digging deeper rooted in their heart and will sprouting up again shortly. Keep focused and gently work through these issues with prayer and consistency.
• Choke weeds can actually appear to be a pretty vine. My children are often tempted to leave it thinking it is some sort of flowering vine there to grace the garden. However, with a little time and examination we can see that it’s presence in the garden is a hazard to all the work and effort we have been putting into it. This is much like things in our lives that can seem okay at first but with a closer evaluation and some time we quickly see that they will steal the life from our family. Evaluate your home and activities often. Faithfully remove anything that is keeping you from growing abundantly in His grace.
• Daily cultivation in the garden saves much time and work later on. Likewise, reading of the Word daily with your family will prevent many weeds from ever taking root at all. Don’t make excuses or put off the reading of the Word with your children. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just pick it up and read, learn and grow together! You will be thankful you did!

May we each be found faithful to serve as we cultivate homes where children can grow in Godliness!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

P.S. I had to giggle over this Google image of the woman pulling the weed! Some days we can feel like her can’t we? The issues seem larger than life and harder than any strength we can muster. With a little time in the Word and songs of praise on our lips we can smile as we work! Be encouraged dear Sisters. God will complete the good work He has began in each of our homes!

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- How do I keep my teenagers heart?

Question: After reading on the blog this week I was curious what suggestions you would give that might help me keep my children’s hearts when they are teenagers. Thanks for your ministry and taking time to answer all our questions.

Answer: Keeping your child’s heart though the growing up process takes prayer, commitment and diligence. We know that with God all things are possible, we know that it is God that removes hearts of stone and gives us a heart of flesh, and we know that it is the Holy Spirit that convinces us of Truth. With those things in mind, it is important for us to diligently seek God in our role of guiding our children to the Lord. Here are some practical things that we have done in our home. I hope you find them helpful as you prayerfully consider how the Lord would have you cultivate relationships with your older children.

Invest in their dreams: In our home, we allow our children to dream their own dreams. We do all that is possible to help them achieve the goals that God has placed in their heart, even if they are very different than our own. We know that God has made each us unique and we respect that unique work in one another.

Remain lovingly consistent: From an early age my children learn that when mommy and daddy say something it is with great care and thought. We aren’t going to change our minds as the shifting of the wind should they disagree with our decision. Throughout their growing up we remain lovingly consistent in this area.  We don’t accept whining, grumbling or complaining. We do however, listen to their thoughts and take the time to share with them.

Win their hearts:  I am reminded that it is God that woes our hearts, that calls us and draw us into a personal relationship with Him. I often pray, “Lord teach me to love them as you have loved me.” As I live out that desire I am humbled for I realize how short I fall!

Having a relationship with our children is critical! Good communication and respect for Biblical authority is the key for such success. Joe and I spend a great deal of time praying for our children, reading the Scriptures to them and simply living with them discussing His Truths throughout our day. We truly enjoy being in the company of our children!

Thank you for your question. I love to hear and share with you as the Lord allows.
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- How do I teach my children to work?

Question: How do I teach my children to work? Your children always seem busy and yet happy. My children complain and fight every time we have a job for them to do and the more critical it is for that job to get done the more fighting they do. Any suggestions?

Answer: First of all, please know that my children are human too. They have their moments when they work begrudgingly, argue and slack off. It seems like I do get asked this question quite often. Maybe we make work look fun, I don’t know. :-)

Stress can make anyone more irritable and that might be why you see more complaining or arguing when you have a deadline for a project. We teach our children that it is in those moments that we need to come together as a team the most! We talk about being on a team and helping one another in such a way that we consider others before ourselves. Children are not allowed to not help someone they know needs help just because their job is done or it’s not their responsibility. We also spend a great deal of time working along side them. We don’t just have the children working and then us, as parents, off doing what we want. We help them clean their room, feed the animals, mow the yard or whatever it is they are doing. We sing, share stories and listen to the radio or story tapes as we work.

Also, we look at the heart not necessarily the results. There are times when I have asked a child to wash windows and they have done the best job a person their age can. I cheer for them and thank them for their work even though I will have to go back and fix it once they are asleep. Next time, I will remember that they may be too little for that job or they need me to give them a few more hands on lessons.

Another thing to keep in mind is that sometimes we, as moms, have  “off” days. Days when we just don’t feel like doing anything, days when we just aren’t in our normal grove. I try to remember that my children can have “off” days too. We talk about reasons why they may not feel 100%. Perhaps they’ve been going all week long and need some extra rest or maybe they have a lot on their plate. Kids get overwhelmed too! I try to remember that as their momma and lovingly help them in those times.

Bottom line is that I have found my children work well because we are working right along with them. We treat them as we want to be treated and patiently train them to do the best they can.

Keep creating fun ways for your children to work as part of the family. Everyone will be better for it!  I believe children are happy to have an important job in the home that everyone appreciates them doing!  Pray about it… I know God will lead you perfectly!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Your Relationship with the older children?

Good Morning Friends!
We are on our way this morning to pick up some goats and visit with friends! A fun treat indeed! Have a beautiful day!
Question: 2 questions. 1.) I admire the relationship you have with your older children! (at least the ones on facebook) How did you get to that point? 2.) You've run the gamut of ages with child-rearing...could you pinpoint the "hardest" age/stage of life? (I have a feeling the answer will be EACH stage has their ups/downs) but ...I love hearing your words so I"m gonna ask anyway!
Answer: I am very blessed to have a close relationship with all my children. My older children have come to the “spotlight” over the years and have also answered peoples questions about our home, parenting and lives. I know that is is by God’s grace alone that we achieve anything good. Please keep that in mind as you read my ‘answer”. I am only sharing how He led us. I am confident that I can do nothing good apart from Him!  May the Lord be victorious in each of our homes! 
#1 When my oldest was about five I remember an older Sister telling me, “Jeanette, your son actually wants to please you.” I have shared that wisdom with countless women through the years and kept in the forefront of my mind. See, before then I never gave that any thought. I just figured that they were interested in their own self desires and never desired to please me. I should have known that they too have that God created desire inside them to be accepted. When I started parenting through that reminder things started changing. Now, instead of me quickly rebuking a child for slamming the door (or whatever it may have been) I considered their motive. I took time to really think about what they were trying to do and talked to them about that. If they broke something, hurt someone or erred in someway I would carefully and prayerfully evaluate their motive.  There has been more than once that ‘others’ thought my child should be in trouble for something they did but I truly felt the Lord telling me that no discipline was needed only instruction. The children learned that mommy was truly there to care about them! I wasn’t just there to demand they live my way. I wanted to help them live under God’s direction with their own unique personality. When people try to put our family in a “box” they find it difficult when they come to my children because they are MUCH different than myself. And in my opinion that’s the way it should be. I grew up with my parents letting me live my dreams. I want to do the same for my children.  I wanted them to view me as not only a God given authority in their live but as a mentor, a fellow Sister in Christ that was there to help them in their weakness, encourage them in their strengths and lead them faithfully to the Lord. I wanted to live honestly in front of them not as a perfect parent but as a forgiven sinner.  These are the things I have strived for that have influenced my relationship with the older children. As I write this, I realize that this answer is a web of thoughts. So much comes to mind and I only hope I can write it clearly. If you have thoughts or questions, please ask again. Maybe this answer needs to be dissected. :-)

#2 Okay, moving on to the “easy” question now. :-) You’re right each stage has critical character developments that we must address. Many times people are negative about the “terrible two’s” I never had a problem with that age. Three years old was harder for me because I have so many independent children and they seemed to try and show their “authority” at that time. I never grew frustrated.. they were just too cute for that! But oh, how I did grow weary some days. I knew they were simply asking me if I loved them enough to lead them! I had to arise to each challenge and show them I was capable and faithful to mother them no matter how inconvenient it might have been to my “self” at the moment. What a critical stage that was!  I think often times people can make problems in their parenting or child’s live by following the World’s expectations. Children don’t have to be jealous of each new sibling that comes in the home. In fact, my children have always adored their new brother or sister!! Just yesterday, I listened as one of the older children dreamed of their relationship with their youngest brother. They talked about how they loved each of their siblings and each held a special spot in their heart. It was a joy to hear! SO.. keep this in mind. Don’t just assume because people say a bad character is “normal” that it is.. God calls it sin. Make sure you always keep that in mind no matter what stage you are addressing. For me, the hardest “stage” for me is any stage where a child struggles.. struggles with changes in their body, struggles with acceptance of boundaries… anytime a child is having a hard time accepting the Season of life they are in, I have to step up to the plate and walk them through it, those are the challenging ones for me. I guess because sometimes you just can’t “fix” it for your child no matter how badly you want too. They have to go through the growth, the heart work that God is leading them through and for a mom that can be a challenge to be part of. Hmm.. so many thoughts come to mind as I share. I am only reminded that parenting is truly not for cowards!
I hope some of my thoughts have helped! Thank you for participating and asking. I don’t always have, “THE ANSWER” but I know God does and I love to share how He led me, pray for you and see the blessings as you follow His leading!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Courting vs. Dating

This last Sunday I asked those on our Facebook page and Twitter account what one question would they ask me if they could. This week, I will be answering all of those questions here on the blog. If you have a question and would like to send it to me you can do so by emailing me at: momentswithmom@gmail.com I will share as the Lord allows and hopefully I can answer all the questions that come in.
Have a wonderful week Ladies!

Question: Mine would be how to encourage my children to court and not "date" when they attend public schools and are around secular people all day.

Answer: The first verse that comes to mind is in Proverbs 13:20 He that walketh with wise men shall be wise but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.  As parents, it is our duty to teach children how to be in the world but not part of the world. We are friendly and show love toward all yet, we do not walk in unity with the world. We do not behave as they do or take up their beliefs, traditions or ideology. We are to be separate, peculiar people.

(Deut. 14: 2 for thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God, and the Lord hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth. Titus 2: 14 Who gave himself for us, that He might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good works.  1 Peter 2: 9 But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hat called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.)

I know that this is not easily accomplished. We can’t just tell our children these things. They must have a heart transformation in this area and understand for themselves why we would keep ourselves not only physically pure but emotionally pure as well. There is so much pressure that kids go through to fit in. We have had our share of tears, rejection, and struggles.

• I have had to pray without ceasing, encourage, and support my children when they come to this Season of life. I am always talking to my children about the fact that they will come to a time in their lives where everything we have taught them will be just that, “lessons taught” however, one day they will be “lessons applied” or “lessons learned”.  As they move into a closer relationship with the Lord it is no longer “dad and moms ideas” it becomes redefined as “THEIR” idea.
• There have been countless times I have had to stop what I was doing and just go on a “date” with one of my children so they could talk and share what they were thinking and feeling. In those moments, I do more listening than talking. This refining that takes place is a good thing even though it can be painful time.
• I have to carefully watch for the subtle signals that show me my children are hurting or struggling. We are big about communicating in my house however, everyone has times when they don’t know how to say what they feel. I look for those signs and fervently minister to my child as the Lord shows me. Sometimes He leads me to say something, sometimes He leads me to just spend more time with them so I’m there if they need me.
• My Joe and I are careful to weed out friendships that may be harmful to our children and go out of our way to encourage friendships with others who would be a blessing to our child. There have been times in our lives where we laid down our own plans so that our children could fellowship with others we knew would give them encouragement in the ways the Lord was leading them. We are constantly teaching the children of their worth in the sight of God. A "Princess" doesn't live as the world! They don’t have to remain in hurtful relationships. We teach them how to walk away from the ‘friendship’ before there is strife and how to do so with grace.

Bekah and Jed are not home so I thought I would ask Beth-Joy, my soon to be 15 year old how and what her daddy and I do that she has found most helpful in this area. Here is her response:

“Although my mother has taught me many things. One of the most important things my Momma taught me was to keep my heart pure while I wait for the man that God has created for me to be a helpmeet too. My Momma has taught me to lead a different type of life than most girls my age. My parents and I have seen the results of taking the road that the world takes and those are not the results that I desire in my life. That is why I chose, for myself, to take the road that is less traveled. I have learned that right now, even though it doesn’t feel good to be different, when I get married I will be able to tell my husband, “I waited for you”. The young ladies of the world can’t say that. If I am patient and wait while I live under my Fathers protection I will a live a much better and joyful life. My momma is always telling me that God created me for a reason. My family needs me and I need them. I have learned the importance of being joyful in each Season of life. This Season is one of the most important Seasons of my life; I am always asking my parents for prayer.”

In her note to us you can see that Beth-Joy shares what she was taught and then what she has chose. I didn’t ask her anything except, “Beth, what have daddy and I done or taught you about remaining pure?” The above note was her reply. I think the most important gem that we can see is a young lady who was taught wisdom and then applied it for herself as her conviction. She doesn’t live out my convictions, she has a personal relationship with the Lord and follows Him as He is leading her through her personal devotions and the daily instruction she receives through her father and I teaching her the Word. Without fail, every day, my children hear the Word of God from their father reading it to them or myself.

This has been a long reply. I hope it offered you an answer you feel you can apply in your own home. I appreciate your question and thank you for trusting me to share. I am blessed to share as the Lord opens doors to do so.

With much love,
Mrs.. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Training- Every Child’s Talent

I am often asked how I get it “all” done. My reply without fail is, “I don’t! I have lots and lots of helpful hands.”  Our home and farm life is a direct reflection of 12 individual people coming together with their talents, strengths and yes, weaknesses and using them to the Glory of God! From the moment my children are born we teach them that they have a vital role in the family. Our family can not do all that God has planned for us if we do not all work together in harmony. We continual express the Biblical directive to serve others, esteem others, and to lay down our lives for one another. My husband and I have had to be the first example of this type of love and service. We were created to serve for His Glory and we are honored to do so!  In fact in my home, there is no greater honor to strive for than to be called, A Servant of Christ. That is the highest honor that we can attain! Therefore, we must learn to crucify our selfish desires and lay down our lives daily for each other… starting right here in our home! Don’t fool yourself in thinking that your child can be so good and serve so well in public but is quite the opposite in your home. Sometimes you will see this type of “eye service” in children but that is the not the heart work that God desires. If a child truly has a heart of service they will be serving at home first and then in their church, community and the world. If they can not serve in the home then all they do in the public eye is of little worth. Here are some tips on how to train children in service in the home. If you have more to add to the list share them here for others to read. I am sure they are countless ideas!

• From infancy teach children they have worth. Give them a task they can do and praise them for a job well done. For example, in our home, children less than a year old are putting their toys away and books back on the shelf. We sit with them and encourage them as they “work” so hard for their family to make the home tidy. We encourage with our words saying things such as, “Good job!” “You’re such a great ‘picker upper’”  “Daddy is going to be so blessed by your tidiness!” “What a blessing you are!” “I’m so proud of you” “You are momma’s big helper!” and many other words of encouragement.

• When a child gets distracted we are right there to sing a song on picking up our toys or to direct them back to their task.

• We also lend a helpful hand! If we see a child struggling to carry a load of books up the stairs or difficulty in cleaning up we will quickly say, “Uh oh! Can I help you?” and we quickly rush to their aid. I also say things like, “I am so blessed to help you.”

• We are constantly observing and evaluating each child’s God given talents. When a child is strong in communication we teach them to be in charge of answering the phone, learning to take messages and give them to the appropriate person in a timely and accurate fashion. Having a child in charge of taking phone calls has given me so much time to be able to do other things for my family.  When I have a child that loves nature I put them in charge of the garden including all the planning. We of course all work on the garden as a family but that member of the family makes sure we are on schedule for watering, weeding and harvesting. I think you get the idea. Look at your child’s talents and then apply them in the home. You will be blessed by how victoriously your home can operate.

NOTE: I have learned over the years that often a child’s strength appears as a weakness. That is when their talent or strength is misdirected. We will talk about how they can use that character trait for God instead of “self”. For example, a child may have a lot of energy and uses it carelessly causing chaos and disorder. We talk and start apply strategies to use that energy for the good of the home. I’ve found it only takes a little training in this area and as soon as they start to get the positive encouragement and words of appreciation they not only stop causing disorder but actually starting bringing order and victory in our home! It is a fun transformation to watch and be part of.

I better run, I have a busy day ahead!

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.'s Mailbox- Developing the Fruit of the Spirit in our Children

Question: My boy is struggling with being out of control- during the course of just one day he can go from overly excited saying, "This is the best day of my life!!!! to being very depressed and moping around spreading his bad attitude to the rest of us. His attitude is affected by his circumstances.

In addition to that problem, he is very out of control with his body- I don't think it is his age- because he seems to be a little clumsy, too- but when he is having the best day of his life- he is jumping around, spinning, flailing limbs- oh, when he plays swords with his brother, he is always hurting him- not at all out of anger, but out of not controlling himself. I don't know how to handle it at all, really. He isn't doing it out of disobience or anything wrong in his heart- but I don't know what to do to get him to have control in these situations. One example- he is always jumping onto the couch by spinning- I always have him leave the room and walk back in and do it again, but it seems most situations aren't that easy.

My main question for you is can you tell me Bible verses that will help with the mood swing problem and if you can think of any wisdom for the second problem I would be delighted!

Thanks for reading this! :)

Answer: Hello dear friend! Thank you so much for your patience!!! 

I pray that He will show you how, with consitancy, this can be a simply training moment in your sweet boys' life. It will give him such great victory if he learns this Fruit of the Spirit, called Self Control.

I would suggest that his emotions going from one extreme to the other is an extension of his lack of self control. Children must learn to take "every thought captive", to "walk in the Spirit at all times" and to crucify their flesh on a moment by moment basis (we mommies even need to do that!). My children can deny their childish desire of wanting to jump on furniture because I have trained them to do so.. they weren't born that way believe me. :-) Here are few things I did when they were little.

Here are a few things we can do practically to help them:

Review verses that discuss the Fruit of the Spirit- Self Control.

Train them with visuals as reminders and rewards: We use to have a 'tree' that was made out of construction paper hanging on the wall. On the tree I placed the "Fruits of the Spirit" and laminated them with contact paper. Then I had velco that stuck them to the tree.. when a child was 'caught' bearing one of these fruits they were able to wear it through the day pinned on their shirt. I would have a surprise gift for them and every so often and pick one of the fruits to bear a gift such as a trip to ice cream with mommy, picking their favorite meal for dinner or me hanging a flag in their honor.

Reevaluate your home and make sure your home rules are clearly laid out. If not, review them again with the children. Children left to themselves and not given clear boundaries and guidelines are out of control. We use to use the 21 rules of this house by Greg Harris with our children when they were little.

Make sure you are giving him the attention he needs. I don't mean for you to give him too much attention. However, in the past you have mentioned to me how smart he is and advanced in his academics. If he is not feeling challenged and often left feeling 'bored' he will have a harder time with self control because the mind is just so busy. Make sure his time is ordered and he knows that he is vital to the success of the home. I would encourage you to see if there weren't some more responsibilities you could give him that would be a blessing to you and also teach him discipline of his time.

Those are some of the things I can think of quickly to share now. Let me know if you have more questions! I always love hearing from you!

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.'s Mailbox 8/29/09

Hello Friends!

Here are a few questions that I thought I would share with you this week! If you have a question please feel free to email me. Have a beautiful weekend as you minister faithfully to your family!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Question: Do you really take this much time in teaching your children?

Answer: Yes! Some days we tease that I have a revolving door to my bedroom. I am quite aware that properly training our children is not something I can do as I rush about with other things. I must stop, put aside my plans, and take as much time as needed to express Truth to my children. I learned as a young momma that the Lords timing for training was always better than my own. I need to look for what He has planned today and not simply at what I am trying to accomplish. Yes, that means that sometimes there is dust on the shelves or I am staying up late finish the laundry however, taking time to train the children can never be put off successfully.

Question: How do you train children to behave in the grocery store?

Answer: We have set aside trips to public places for the sole purpose of training. I will take my children to the grocery store with no intent on shopping; I am there to train them. I talk to them before (perhaps for several days) about my expectations while we are out in public and the importance of representing the Lord. Once we are in the store I show them 'traps' that have been set out for them and warn them against 'falling' into them. For example: Children type cereal is placed low on the shelves so that children will ask their parents for it. Candy is set at the checkout counters so that children will ask, beg and cry for it. Toys are displayed by the diapers, and the list could go on and on. I ask the children to try and find 'traps' as we walk through the store as well. We talk about our appearance and the tone of our voice while we are out. Are we smiling, walking gracefully (watching out for others), and being helpful with siblings? This has always been a fun time for the children and I; the rewards have been abundant! Take time to train your children, you won't regret it!

A Moment in Proverbs 8/29/09

Proverbs 29: 23

A man's pride shall bring him low: but honour shall uphold the humble in spirit.

Pride is one of the seven things that our Lord hates and should be something we detest as well! Heart conditions are always the most challenging and rewarding issues in training our children. We must be on guard of 'false humility', prideful looks, tones of the voice, resistance to authority, disrespectful behavior (even done in a joking manner), and lack of care and concern for those that are younger, weaker or less able than one's self. Look for these subtle signs of pride in the heart. Take time to pray with, explain and train your child in why they need to keep their heart from pride with all diligence. Be patient and give this matter much prayer. As mothers, we know that much of the victory we see in our homes is a reflection of our time in prayer for our family. The one thing you never want to do is grow weary of well doing. For in due season we will reap a beautiful and bountiful harvest!

There is such a great Spiritual importance in teaching our children to resist the sin of pride. May we each diligently and delicately train up our children in the ways of the Lord!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Resources we use in our home for training in this matter and others:

For Instruction in Righteousness (offered by Doorposts)

Proverbs for Parenting

A Moment with MOM- Children with Anger

Hello Friends!
This week I received a call from a woman that we have mentored for the last nine years. She and I both praised God as we evaluated the good work that He has done and continues to do in her life. Our God has no limits! The question she called with was regarding her son who deals with anger. She has tried an assortment of tactics to help him but still this young man deals with anger toward his siblings. There were a few things I shared with her that I thought might be helpful for others too.

First of all, anger is an issue of the heart. Heart issues are only dealt with by God and prayer. We can modify behavior but we can never change anyone’s heart- the heart is God's territory! So… step one is PRAYER!

Secondly, it is important for us to understand what is causing the anger so we can help them overcome it. If you are uncertain, pray for wisdom and direction. He is faithful and will answer your prayer! I have noticed, through the years, that anger is often the reaction to two different situations:

1. Loss of control
2. Feeling unappreciated

No one likes to feel out of control. Healthy boundaries, daily schedules and minimizing unpredictable moments will help reduce incidents of anger. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and seen as a valuable member of the family. Help your child find age/skill appropriate chores, activities or tasks in the home that they can be in charge of. When your child is calm, talk about this issue of anger. Share Scriptures regarding the fool, anger and self control. Allow them to participate in establishing Biblical consequences for poor choices and behavior. Encourage them to communicate their feelings instead of acting out.

Because this is an issue of the heart, the variables are unlimited. However, God remains the same! He is faithful and will complete the good work He begins in your life and your child’s! If you have questions or specific needs feel free to contact me via email.

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs 8/13/09

Proverbs 13: 20

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.

The Scriptures tell us that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child (Proverbs 22:15) and since this passage warns of what companionship of fools can lead too, we have chosen to carefully help our children in the development of friendships. I don’t want to subject anyone’s child to the foolishness of my own child and I don’t want my child to suffer the insult of another’s foolishness!

Here are a few suggestions of what we have done here in our home:

• We guard how much time we are out with others. Much of the needed training for children is neglected when we are out and about.
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• We look for other families that realize the Truth of these passages and are committed to training their children. That is not to say that we don’t get together with families who have neglected child training, it just means that we take special attention to warn the children of problem areas we have observed. For example, we use to have a neighbor family that would come to visit with us. Whenever their momma would tell them it was time to go they would hesitate, whine and hide. After they left we talked about why that was wrong and how we might help our friends. The children came up with the ideas that were quite successful. Children are very effective in communicating to other children!
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• We invite our children into the parent’s conversations. Allowing our children to be part of our conversations has brought about an abundance of fruit in our home! I find that most adults enjoy conversing with my children and my children enjoy sharing with them too! I did have to teach my children how to listen and learn from what they were hearing. Some very precious child training moments have been born from our children listening to their daddy talk to other wise men or while their momma encourages/or is encouraged by another Sister in the Lord.

God has a passion for people and I believe that if we desire the heart of God we too will have a passion for people. It has been my heart prayer that others would NOT see the time I take to share as "someone who had nothing better to do" rather, as a handmaiden that understood and enjoyed taking time for others because God had taken time for her! I encourage you to consider the Truth in this passage and develop friendships that bring Him Glory!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs 8/10/09

I realized this evening that I posted the Proverbs for the day on my facebook and forgot to come over here and post. Have a wonderful week ladies!

Proverbs 10: 3 The Lord will not suffer the soul of the righteous to famish: but he casteth away the substance of the wicked.

Walking in Truth has benefits. I praise God for all His benefits. Take a look at Psalm 103 where we are instructed not to forget his benefits. Children must learn not only that their actions have consequences but that doing what is right has benefits! We don't want children to only obey because they 'get' something out of it yet, they should see the benefit. Look for ways to bless your child for good behavior. In my opinion, acknowledging good behavior is just as important as correcting poor behavior. Take time to encourage your children to count the benefits of obedience and doing what is right in the sight of God. Make sure you train your children in this Truth with a few hands on benefits that they clearly connect to their good behavior. Be creative and then come back and share with me. I would love to hear how the Lord is leading you in the training of His people!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs 7/22/09 and 7/23/09

Computer issues kept me from being able to get online and post our Moment in Proverbs yesterday so I have included it here. Enjoy!

Proverbs 22: 6

Train up a child in the way he should go: when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Many people don't consider the details of training children and instead "discipline" children in the way they should go. Joe and I strongly believe that a child should not be disciplined for something they have not been trained in. Too often parents assume that their child should have known better. Often when I ask, "Well, did you ever train them not to do (fill in the blank)" The response I get is, "I shouldn't have to train them in everything do I?" Training takes time along with physical, emotional and spiritual energy. Training sessions with our children should not be a knee-jerk response. Instead, they should be a well thought out, prayed over application of skills to teach children Biblical Truths. If you feel that you have neglected the training of your children, I encourage you to prayerfully consider the Truth of this passage along with Isaiah 54:13 "And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children." Both passages contain a directive with a promise! Let us not grow weary in well doing for in due season we will reap a wonderful reward!

Proverbs 23: 26

My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

This passage goes along with yesterdays (listed above). Gaining the heart of our children is critical if we are to train them in Godliness. Training children is only productive if we first hold their hearts. We must take time and develop a genuine and God pleasing relationship with our children. Relationships have always been important to God! Do you have your child's heart attention? Have you worked at cultivating a relationship with your child? Having a relationship with your child enables them to observe your ways; to know how you think and why you make the decisions you do. It is critical for us to spend time with the Lord so that our children observe His fruit in full bloom throughout our lives. I encourage you to prayerfully consider your relationship with your Heavenly Father first and then also your relationship with each of your children. Make the repairs were needed and see the good plans God has in store for you! I would be honored to pray for you and encourage you through the journey. Please feel free to email me using the information provided in my profile.

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.'s Mailbox

This week I had two questions from my mailbox that I felt free to share. If you have a question I would love to share as the Lord led. Just use the email link listed in my profile page to do so. We look forward to hearing from you and pray His blessings abound in your heart and home as you live in His presence!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Question- Can you explain a little about what a birthday Proverbs is?

Answer- A Birthday Proverbs is the Proverbs of the day that goes with the date of your birth. For example, my birthday is March 26 so my Birthday Proverbs is: Proverbs chapter 26. Each member of the Wood family has memorized their Birthday Proverbs or is in the process of doing so. We have seen the Lord speak volumes to each of us as we hid His Word in our hearts. If you chose to seek wisdom and hide His instruction in His heart, I am confident you too will be blessed!

Question- Unfortunately when you have big ones you sometimes feel that you've missed the boat and it's too late. Maybe you could include some stuff pertinent to those situations with older kids too, though; I know that since you train so well with your younger ones, you don't have many issues with your older ones.

Answer- First let me say that I view child training as life long. Even with our older children we are still training them in a variety of tasks and heart issues. I also understand the discouragement that can set in as our children are older. We had hoped they would be one place and they are another, we had hoped that we wouldn’t be dealing with certain issues as we are. May I encourage you to keep your children a priority in your prayer life? Do not neglect the protection in prayer that your children need from you, their mother!

As the Lord leads, I will be including training moments with my older children. Thank you for the reminder and encouragement to do so! I am blessed to share as a handmaiden of the Lord!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs 7/8/09 and 7/9/09

Yesterday's proverbs didn't get posted so I decided to post both today. It is our desire to share a moment in Proverbs with you throughout the week. I hope our sharing stirs up a desire in your heart to search for Wisdom!

Proverbs 8:17

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

As a mother we can find that our days zoom by at the speed of light. We must purpose to seek the Lord early in the morning or we may never find a quiet moment to sit at His feet. I encourage you to wake early, even if it is only 15 minutes early, to have some time alone with your Savior. You will find these few moments can be the building blocks that keep your day from crumbling. Yes, the trials still come but you have girded yourself with Truth and set your mind on His plan instead of your own.

Proverbs 9:8

Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man and he will love thee. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wise: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.

Correcting our children does not only help them learn but it can also show us the state of their heart. When I correct my child do I see them get wiser or do I see them get angry and resentful toward me? Consider what you see and then take it to prayer. Ask the Lord for ideas on how to teach your child to respond to correction as a wise man and not a scorner. It is also important for us to share this passage with our children so they can be aware of their sin, the sin of refusing correction. They can compare the fool to the wise man and then compare their own responses to correction and see 'who' they are! Only God can change hearts but we are wise to watch carefully and prayerfully guide our children in Righteousness!

A Moment in Proverbs 7/7/09

Proverbs 7: 24

Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.

This reminds me of one of my favorite passages:

Psalm 34:11 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

As I read the book of proverbs I am often struck by the fact that we hear the writter pleading for the attention of his son. He make the connection and calls him "my son." It is so important for our children to hear that we want them. We are wise to share how honored we are to call them, "my son"or "my daughter." Don't neglect this simple fact that can make such a life impact in your childs life!

The other thought is this: Did you know that "my son" is listed 23 times! 23 times we hear him crying out saying "my son" listen to my words, take heed, and so forth! I know that my children watch my example but I want them to also hear my words. I want them to hear their Momma pleading for their Soul to surrender to the One, True, Living God! Oh, how I want the words of my mouth and meditation of my heart to be pleasing unto the Lord. I want to draw my chidlrens attention to my words and actions on purpose! I want them to see their momma walk out her faith with her God on a daily basis!

Don't be afraid to call your children to yourself and plead with them to hear your words and learn the fear of the Lord.

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs

Proverbs 3: 3

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.

If we keep reading the passage we can understand the real importance of mercy and truth- they both are needed to find favour and good understanding in the sight of God. It is important for children to see Mercy displayed and Truth as the foundation of their home. Take some time to talk about mercy and truth. Look them up in your dictionary, look up verses that discuss mercy and truth. Give real life examples from your home of what mercy looks like and how truth is fundamental.

Here's an idea you might want to try. Remember to pray and ask the Lord for wisdom as you train your children. He gives His people creativity and guides us perfectly- I know He has done it for me over and over again!

Activity:
Write Mercy and Truth on one card.
Take a hole puncher and make a hole at the top of each card to string ribbon through
Cut a piece of ribbon long enough to make a necklace
Slip the card onto the ribbon
Wear as a necklace

Make one for YOU too! :-)

As your child goes throughout the day talk the opportunities that arise that need us to show mercy and/or truth. If you're like me you'll find the Lord showing you many areas for yourself. Make sure you share these as the Lord allows... talk about how you chose to surrender to His will. Let your child see you- a sinner saved by God's amazing Grace and tender MERCY!

May our homes reflect His goodness!
Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment of Training 6/30/09

All those that know me, know that I strongly believe it is wrong to discipline children for matters they have not been trained in. Training takes time, energy and is most often done without extreme emotion. Our flesh does not want to take this time, exert this energy or control our emotions however; it is only when we obey the Word of God that we will see victory in our homes.

Proverbs 22: 6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

A Moment of Training is a weekly post, Lord willing, sharing a tip on how to train your children in a particular Truth. I pray it is a blessing for you and your home. Enjoy!

At times our children can feel very 'alone'. As if everyone they know is "cool" and they find themselves left out and feeling odd. I am thankful that my children take those moments to share with me their heart. They don't hide their feelings rather, they come to their father and me for guidance. A few weeks ago, Joe suggested, that maybe we aren't as 'peculiar' as we should be. We often judge our condition on our social standards and not the Word of God. To demonstrate the message my Joe was trying to get across I filled three cups with water. One cup (cup a) was filled with water that was room temperature, one cup (cup b) was filled with hot water out of the tap, and the last cup (cup C) was placed in the microwave on high for two min.

Joe asked the children to feel the first cup- cup (a) - "Would you say that water is hot?" he asked. "Well, no but it is hotter than my milk was." some of the children responded. "Okay, what about cup (b) is that hot?" Joe continued to ask. "Yes" was heard from a few of the children. Others said, "Well it is hotter than the last cup... okay I guess we can call it hot" Joe continued to talk to them about how we as people often judge ourselves based off of what others are doing and not off the Word of God. We decide if we are "hot" by poor comparisons of this world instead of simply striving for the standard set before us in the Scriptures. Finally, I brought over cup (c). You could see the steam rising from the cup. Before I even made it to the table many of the children stated, "Now, that's HOT!" "How do you know?" Joe asked. "Because we can see the steam" they replied. "Could you see steam in the other cups you called 'hot'?" "No!" they exclaimed. So... this cup is different- much different isn't it?" All the children started to get the message daddy was presenting. After some more discussion daddy began sharing how God wants’ us boiling hot... not luke warm. We filled another cup with ice cubes and poured cup (a) over them. Nothing happened. We then poured cup (b) over the ice cubes and this time you could see that they were having a little effect but not much. However, when we poured cup (c) over the ice cubes they immediately began cracking and soon were melted.

"God wants us to be HOT so that the World can see the difference. He wants us to pour ourselves into the lives of others and because of our fire for God melt their cold hearts. God wants us to be different but not just a little different. He wants us to be separate from the World... He wants us to be Peculiar people! Let's make sure we aren't comparing ourselves to the Worlds standards instead let us use His Word as our Standard."

Joe continued his moment of training and continued to talk to the children about how we don't add the "ice cubes" into our lives instead we pour ourselves into their lives. He then had me display that truth by taking a handful of ice cubes and placing them in the cup of hot water. Sure the ice cubes melted but now the HOT water was luke warm! Much different than before when the ice cubes were melted but the cup of HOT water remained separate and HOT!

It was a good training moment!

Pray and ask the Lord how he would have you train your children in His Truths! If you would like to use this training moment from our home feel free too. It could take you any where from 10 min or more depending on the family discussion that comes from it. Make sure you draw the children into conversation. This isn't a time for you to 'preach' to them, it's a time to train them. I have included items needed and Scripture you may find helpful below. May the Lord's Name be exalted! ~

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Items needed:

3 cups filled with water (one cup with room temp. water, one cup with hot tap water and one cup with boiling water)

2 cups of ice cubes

Scriptures:

Deuteronomy 14:2- For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth

John 15:19- If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

Romans 12:2- And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Revelations 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

A Moment in Proverbs 6/30/09

Each day, Lord willing, I will share a verse from Proverbs and my thoughts about it. Enjoy!

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Sometimes we can think that we are too tired to correct our children. However, this Scripture reminds us that only when we correct our son will we really find rest. Just ask any mom that has a child who is untrained, rebellious or left to himself... she is tired with all the trouble the child finds, exhausted with worry and losing hope quickly! Remember, correct your child and he will give you rest... more than that... he shall give delight unto your soul! There is no greater delight than being a mommy to a child that walks in Truth!

Don't grow weary in well doing ladies... for in due season you will reap your reward and it will be great!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood