Friday, April 30, 2010
M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Your Relationship with the older children?
Good Morning Friends!
We are on our way this morning to pick up some goats and visit with friends! A fun treat indeed! Have a beautiful day!
Question: 2 questions. 1.) I admire the relationship you have with your older children! (at least the ones on facebook) How did you get to that point? 2.) You've run the gamut of ages with child-rearing...could you pinpoint the "hardest" age/stage of life? (I have a feeling the answer will be EACH stage has their ups/downs) but ...I love hearing your words so I"m gonna ask anyway!
Answer: I am very blessed to have a close relationship with all my children. My older children have come to the “spotlight” over the years and have also answered peoples questions about our home, parenting and lives. I know that is is by God’s grace alone that we achieve anything good. Please keep that in mind as you read my ‘answer”. I am only sharing how He led us. I am confident that I can do nothing good apart from Him! May the Lord be victorious in each of our homes!
#1 When my oldest was about five I remember an older Sister telling me, “Jeanette, your son actually wants to please you.” I have shared that wisdom with countless women through the years and kept in the forefront of my mind. See, before then I never gave that any thought. I just figured that they were interested in their own self desires and never desired to please me. I should have known that they too have that God created desire inside them to be accepted. When I started parenting through that reminder things started changing. Now, instead of me quickly rebuking a child for slamming the door (or whatever it may have been) I considered their motive. I took time to really think about what they were trying to do and talked to them about that. If they broke something, hurt someone or erred in someway I would carefully and prayerfully evaluate their motive. There has been more than once that ‘others’ thought my child should be in trouble for something they did but I truly felt the Lord telling me that no discipline was needed only instruction. The children learned that mommy was truly there to care about them! I wasn’t just there to demand they live my way. I wanted to help them live under God’s direction with their own unique personality. When people try to put our family in a “box” they find it difficult when they come to my children because they are MUCH different than myself. And in my opinion that’s the way it should be. I grew up with my parents letting me live my dreams. I want to do the same for my children. I wanted them to view me as not only a God given authority in their live but as a mentor, a fellow Sister in Christ that was there to help them in their weakness, encourage them in their strengths and lead them faithfully to the Lord. I wanted to live honestly in front of them not as a perfect parent but as a forgiven sinner. These are the things I have strived for that have influenced my relationship with the older children. As I write this, I realize that this answer is a web of thoughts. So much comes to mind and I only hope I can write it clearly. If you have thoughts or questions, please ask again. Maybe this answer needs to be dissected. :-)
I hope some of my thoughts have helped! Thank you for participating and asking. I don’t always have, “THE ANSWER” but I know God does and I love to share how He led me, pray for you and see the blessings as you follow His leading!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood