M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Adoption

I’ve been asked multiple times the last few weeks about our adoption. I keep praying about this post and putting it off only to have another family request information or ask about our personal story. I found myself saying, “Okay Lord! I hear you! I’ll tell our story!” I guess I hesitate because adoption can be such a personal story. It’s much like a birth story with many of the same emotions. The trying, the expectation, the waiting, the labor and the ‘delivery’ when the judge finally says it is done. I guess for me the hardest part is sharing so openly with people who have faces hidden behind the computer screen. I can’t read your body language or know if you understand the depth of my love and the journey we have been on that brought four of our blessings into our home. It would be much different if I were to share with you face to face but at this time God has not allowed that opportunity so it is here, on the blog, that I will share with you our precious, tender, very personal adoption story. Remember, I share as a mother, not an authority, agency or professional.

May the Lord be glorified by all we communicate… for His glory is the reason I live!

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Joe and I talked about having children before we were married. We knew that we wanted to adopt children as well as give birth to any children the Lord would bless us with physically. There was never a time that we were in disagreement about the subject, and never a time our biological children didn’t talk with us as we planned to adopt.  We spent many years praying about it, talking with grandparents and other extended family members about the subject, and waiting for His timing. The children and our family joined us as we prayed for this child we had yet to meet.

While adoption was never a question to us, timing was. As I look back it still seems like a whirlwind that just swept us up. In 2000 my Joe and I owned and operated a Christian bookstore. We had friends that were missionaries in Lesotho, Africa that were going to come and share their testimony with our customers. After the night of conversation they stayed in our home, shared stories with us and braided my daughters hair, a moment she still remembers with fondness. We began praying and exploring our options for an international adoption. It was a few weeks later when a woman came into the store and somehow we got on the topic of adoption. I shared with her about our desire and Lesotho when she asked, “Why don’t you adopt a child from the states?” I was caught off guard by her question and quickly replied, “I didn’t know there were children that needed adoption  in America. I thought there were more than enough families.” She gave me the name and number of a local agency. I can’t even tell you how much time went by; I know everything happened very fast. It was a surprise to everyone involved just how fast we had our home study complete, fingerprints done, and classes taken. While our agency worked with reuniting foster children with their families they knew that we wanted a child for adoption. It was just a matter of weeks when we welcomed our sweet Sammy into our home. Sammy has FAS. At the time he needed multiple visits from nurses and therapists. The events that took place over the next year had ups and downs. I learned a great deal through the experience and at the time thought it was challenging. Looking back I don’t regret it for one moment and after our second adoption I know that Sammy’s adoption was a walk in the park! 

Sammy’s adoption was finalized in Oct of 2003. We were enjoying the moments with our ‘official’ new addition. I find that whole finalizing process a challenge. It is as if we are waiting for ‘man’ to finally agree with what God has already spoken in our hearts but, that’s just me. For our second adoption, I can still remember the day. The way the sun was shinning in the room while I vacuumed, and how Joe and the children were playing in the backyard. It was January 7th 2004 when the phone rang. “Hello?” I answered. “Hello, I know you don’t know me but I heard about you and your family when you adopted your son, Samuel.” “Yes” I said skeptically. “I am a social worker for the county and am at the hospital. We have a baby being born that is expected to have FAS. It’s a little boy. Would you be interested?” I didn’t know what to think. I took her number and told her I would call her back. I called our agency and told them what had happened. They agreed it was quite unusual for someone to contact me and not go through the agency first. Our worker at the agency would check into the details and get back to us. I called everyone together and told them about the bizarre call. The next day the phone rang again. It was the weekend and the worker assured me she would take care of all the details  with our agency and asked if I would meet her at the hospital. I was able to talk to the birth mom and be in her room with her. I remember asking her before I left if there was anything she wanted me to do for her. She simply replied, “love him like you love all your other children.” The nurses walked me through all the baby basics and even wheeled me out to the car as I held the baby. I was told this was their policy and found it strange at the time. Looking back I see it as precious. Precious of those nurses…. precious of the Lord to let me enjoy  the wheelchair ride to the car with my baby in my arms.

Time went by and finalizing the adoption was getting closer. Doctor reports were submitted to the county and all those involved. A grandmother learned about the baby and petitioned the court for custody. In a moment and without any previous warning we were being told that we would have to give our baby boy over to a woman who had never met him. He was about nine months old at that time… precious days of peek a boo with baby and rocking chair lullaby's at bed time. To say my heart was broken does not begin to describe how broken I was. I remember driving away after unloading the car of the baby crib, rocking chair, favorite blankets and going over a list of favorites with the family. I remember the tears that came on so strongly I couldn’t drive and feared crashing. I pulled over to the side of the highway. I sat praying for what seemed like hours. I don’t honestly know how long I sat there praying. Within time I felt a peace, a peace that passes all understanding. I know that it wasn’t an audible voice but I heard in my heart, “If you give him to me I’ll give him back.” I didn’t even understand how that could be possible. A few days went by, walking down the hall was heartbreaking. The entire family was hurting. It wasn’t long before my phone rang again and this time it was the grandma. She was busy and wanted to know if I would babysit the baby and his half brother and sister that she cared for. A relationship developed where we would care for the children anytime she was busy and I thanked God that He allowed me to invest in this little one’s life, even if it was only on weekends.

More time elapsed, we moved, and our home study was soon to expire. It was about 10:30 at night when Joe got a call from a social worker informing us, once again, that we didn’t know her but she knew who we were. She briefly told us about the situation at hand and that the baby we had loved and cared for was about to be removed from the home along with the siblings. Joe and I talked and without hesitation agreed we would adopt all three children. No sooner did we talk when the phone rang again. This time the grandma was on the phone, telling us her side of the story. She knew they were going to remove the children and wanted to bring them to us instead. Early the next morning she arrived with our baby boy and soon to be daughter (the older brother was in the hospital with some serious injuries). Information was uncertain, state and county agencies were not talking and we found ourselves in the middle of a power struggle between the two. I’ve looked back over the events that took place, the decisions people made, the agenda that was put in front of the needs of the children, the lies, the discrimination against our family simple because we had seven children and were Christians who homeschooled. Yet, through all those dark moments I see God’s amazing Grace. I will not write out the heartbreak, the troubling events and the struggle. Instead let me make clear that God was always with us. He never left us! He was my strength and my comfort when we couldn’t trust anything we were hearing with our ears or seeing with our eyes. I’ll never forget the day we finalized our adoption. I sat at the table, before the judge, wrestling to hold back the tears as I realized that the harassing, the threats, and the fears were coming to an end! No matter how hard I tried to hold back the tears they flowed down my cheeks. What must that judge have thought as she sat in front of me? The journey we had just traveled… did she know?

After everything we went through we decided we all needed time to heal. We didn’t trust many people yet, we had learned who we could trust. We feel very complete. Very settled. The experience is behind us, it is in the past and we can say God was and still remains faithful! Today our hearts are ready and expecting the Lord to bring us a new addition. We don’t know if the child will come to us through physical birth (although that would take a miracle) or through adoption! However, we don’t feel led to go through the state, at least not at this time. We have instead finished our home study and hired an attorney for a private adoption. International adoption is not something we are against and we keep praying if it might be God’s plan. At this time, we just keep getting the sense that we’re to wait. Our family feels very complete. It’s not that our days aren’t full or we have this unhealthy motivation to adopt. We aren’t looking for a child; we believe that if God has another child for us He will bring her/him to us.  We simply have everything required by the laws of our land so that we can accept a child should the Lord bring one to us. Often, you’ll hear someone in the house talk about when God is going to bring us a child and even now we pray for this little one we have not yet met. I don’t know how many children the Lord will bring us or from where. I am thankful that He would allow me to pour my life into even one child much less ten!! I am blessed!!! (P.S. The above picture of our adoption you can see our family along with Grandma and Grandpa on the end and my brother and his wife in the back near my Joe and I)

Each day I watch my children run, play, hear their belly giggles I praise God that He picked me to be their momma. We are a very close family. If it were not for hair and skin color you would never know which child God brought through adoption and which ones we gave birth too. I love being a mother; each season has it’s joy. I realize they are growing up… time is flying by… these are precious days!

All the children along with my Joe and I. November 2010

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Homeschool Curriculum Ideas?

I have been asked multiple times this last week for curriculum suggestions, how we homeschool or ideas for beginners. I have prayerfully considered what to write each person and finally decided that I would just share here on the blog.  This post is quite long since I was trying to answer everyone’s question. Please understand that raising our children for the Glory of God is a personal and incredible responsibility. I love to share with you and trust you will keep in mind that you don’t have to do what I do to have success. Just do what God directs you to do!! With that said, let me share my testimony with you and yes… I promise to also tell you what we use for homeschooling too.

It was1988 when I had a baby in a sling as I sat on the bookstore floor reading a ‘radical’ book called, Homeschooling for Excellence by David and Micki Colfax. I love to read and use to cruise bookstore aisles, so I have no idea except that it was God who led me to this specific book (I don’t believe I had even heard the term homeschooling before that). I read without the notice of time. I was overwhelmed with a confidence that this “homeschooling” was exactly what God’s plan was for our family. Time went on and my baby grew. At four years old he faced a mother who had read too many books to count on all the “how’s” and “why’s” of homeschooling. I had attended two homeschool conventions, listening to a variety of speakers on multiple topics. I subscribed to a handful of home educating publications, joined HSLDA, and joined our local support group. I had went to college, I was smart, determined, and committed to my son’s education. I had goals, charts, and all the best curriculum that money could buy. According to my “plan” he should be in the best colleges in no time! It wasn’t but a few months later when everything finally came to a halt. My son hated homeschooling and so did I! He dreaded learning and I dreaded giving him another lesson! Nothing was going as planned! I had wanted to give my child a love for learning. I wanted him to gain a fascination with life as our relationship was cultivated by our journey together. That was my blissful idea; the reality wasn’t even remotely close to that! At this time my son was four and half years old. I also had a active, smart and bouncing 16 month old little girl, AND I was unknowingly about to deliver my third child prematurely. Most days both my son and I were in tears by the end of the day. I couldn’t wait till nap time much less bed time. My laundry was piling up, my teaching notes were far behind. I was losing any peace I had and my home was showing it!  This is when my husband and I finally had a good heart to heart chat with the Lord. We started asking ourselves the questions of, why are we homeschooling? What’s God to say about homeschooling? What would HE want them taught? There were literally a hundred more questions from our hearts that started to pour forth in our prayers. We put the curriculum we had paid way too much money for aside. We went to our son and apologized for the stress and for trusting a lesson plan to tell me what to require each day instead of God. We made a commitment 17 years ago that we  have been faithful to keep, that each day we would go before God and ask for the “lesson plan”. We were confident that God, the One that knit each of my children in the womb, knew them! He would never require too much or too little! Like I mentioned earlier, my third son was born at 25 weeks and soon our daily life as we knew it changed. We decided to not do any formal education until our oldest was six. In this time I found a book called, Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola. I also learned of a company called, Konos. As I read through each of these resources I knew this was the direction that we wanted to go for our family.

Over the next several years, children were added to the home and multiple moves took place. Life never seemed to stay the same yet, each year our home thrived as we lived out our obedience and discovered more and more about God through the daily life activities. The relationships in the home were fruitful, school lessons were accomplished, children were learning, and yet I still felt like something needed to change. I went for a walk in the woods and just talked with God. Once again I found myself asking, “what do I teach?” I know it wasn’t an audible voice none the less, I felt I had a clear direction. God was telling me to teach the children what they need to know should He return tomorrow. I remember stopping right where I was and pondering what that would look like. That was four years ago and I’m still working out what it looks like on a daily basis. I’ve been very happy with the fruit of my labor thus far. I trust God will continue being faithful to bless the works of my hands as long as it is for His Glory and His will! Here’s what a homeschool day looks like for the Wood family:

Bible study always happens as a family this is on top of their personal Bible time. We read through the Bible from cover to cover. We use the KJV or the New Geneva. No curriculum needed. We discuss what we read, look up words they may not have been familiar with in our 1828 Noah Webster's Dictionary (my favorite dictionary). Look up key words in our Strongs Dictionary, and read notes by Matthew Henry, in our commentary, if desired. All the children take turns using the references which are great language art skills and will are quite useful in their personal study time. We talk about studying His Word.. not just reading it. “2Ti 2:15  Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” 

The children also stand up in front of the family and recite passages of the Bible that they are working on in their free time. Each memorize their “birthday proverbs” (A 'birthday proverbs’ is the chapter of Proverbs that goes with the day they were born. For example a child born on the third day of the month would have Proverbs 3 as their ‘birthday proverbs’). After that is committed to memory they memorize any book of the Bible they desire. This not only helps them hide His Word “Psa 119:11  Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.” in their hearts but also helps them learn public speaking skills and encourages their memory work and recitation.

For handwriting, the Wood family writes out the Bible (starting in Genesis and working through it till they get to the end someday). Each child has a notebook and with some instruction on how to hold their pencil and properly form their letters I let them start their copy work. They give careful attention to how hard they’re holding their pencil, to their spacing, no ‘floating’ letters, or letters misplaced on the line. They make sure this is in their best hand writing. No curriculum, just my instruction and a note book.

For writing, we have used a variety of resources over the years. I have my children currently taking Mrs. Morecrafts class online through a webinar. As a family we enjoy it!! You can learn more about that by visiting: HERE The current course is found HERE

For mathematics, I use Horizons Math. It’s just the program that has worked best for my children when they were PK-6th. After that, I’ve used a variety of resources depending on each child’s interest. Recently the Lord led a Christian woman to us that tutors higher math classes and science classes. I have one of my boys utilizing that resource as God has provided.

For younger children we learn science beyond any requirements a curriculum would require just by living on a farm. My children do all the activity of the farm. They know how to test soil, milk goats, create feed recipes with proper protein content, treat infections, care for ill animals, help deliver newborn animals, they keep records for expenses on the farm as well as the production of milk or eggs collected. They calculate how much our meat cost us, the dangers of GMO, the benefits of pasture raised animals and how to build a pasture that will provide health. As they get older, they are asked to research and put into practice a new skill or project on the farm. My youngest children have learned how to identify native plants, harvest them and how to use them. My nine year old might build a moveable chicken coop, research what chickens we are needing and then help me order them. My girls make cheese, butter, bread and other home made goodies as soon as they like. Typically by the time they are 10 they are able to do these things and love doing them! Where my 13 and 17 year old are currently designing a year around greenhouse that could sustain plants year around in KS in the most earth friendly manner. I told someone the other day, “My children learned in 15 minutes what took me an entire semester at college to learn!” Besides this real life science activity I have read them an assortment of biographies of Christian scientist. They also LOVE to listen to Jonathan Park and have learned an incredible amount through those CD’s.

For History, we have watched and listened to countless resources from Vision Forum. I would encourage you to look there and find treasures that no only tell you the history but create a hunger in your children to want to act it out and learn even more!

For Geography we read missionary stories. We love to use our globe to see where they traveled. As the children got older they would want to do more and more research on some of the places we were reading about. They love to learn! At 16 they are blessed to go with grandma and grandpa to a state of their choice for a two week tour where they learn a great deal. Grandma requires them to answer 100 questions about the information they learned and provide a variety of reports and projects.

For music, we have loved the people God has brought into our live to teach our children different instruments. We love to hear them play so they love to play for us. They practice on their own motivation and delight in bringing the family music. I also read from the Classical Music collection as a story time after our lunch. The children love to hear the stories and listen to the songs included.

Throughout our day, no matter what happens, the peace is present! I guard the peace of this home with all vigilance. I say no to outside activities that would draw our hearts away from home or each other. I deny my selfish desires that would take my attention away from the needs of my family and home. We work on communication and daily strive to live out our lives for the glory of God… right here in our home! We each strive to glorify God, show one another forgiveness and love unconditionally as He loves us.

It’s been 17 years that I’ve been homeschooling, two children have graduated so far and another one getting ready to graduate. I was asked how much we spend on homeschooling. To answer that I would say, I use to keep it under 500 but the last few years we’ve been going over that. I would say we typically spend between 500-1000.00 a year  for ALL the children combined for the year. This includes all our tutor classes, Vision Forum resources, books, and other goodies for the year. I was also asked for helpful tips. I guess my only real helpful tip after saying to do all you do with much prayer, would be to encourage you to join the Home School Legal Defense Association! You can learn more about them HERE

I hope this helped. I am always learning. I am confident that as God transforms me, he transforms our home school design as well!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Schedule or Routine?

Question: As I watch other women who seem to accomplish so much, I wonder if I am just not getting something. It seems like chaos at my house. My days are filled with me trying to just stay on top of all the tasks. If I take a moment for myself, everything falls apart. Do you suggest a schedule or a routine for someone like me?

Answer: I suggest a reality check! Please don’t take me wrong, rather hear me out. You’re putting your eyes on what others are doing and not on your personal response to God’s leading in your life. Don’t look at others and judge your success based off of how your day compared to theirs. Please, only evaluate your success based off of your personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I firmly believe that we will each be successful in our ministry at home only IF we are doing exactly what God called us to do that day! My success has nothing to do with how much it “looks” like I accomplished and everything to do with my obedience to the Lord’s voice! Here are a few questions I ask myself each night when I evaluate my day: Did I cheerfully do all that He asked of me today? Was I lazy or did I minister to my family faithfully? Did I behave selfishly or demand that my needs get met yet, failed to see the needs of those around me? Did I serve my family with “eye” service or out of my genuine love for the Lord?

I really want to answer your question about a schedule or a routine. I don’t want you to feel I missed the question; I also don’t want you to miss the true key to success in your home! I firmly believe you won’t find an end to the chaos until you prayerfully and faithfully do what God has led YOU to do. It’s wonderful for us to learn from one another, it can also be dangerous. My personality likes a strict schedule however, God has taught me over the years that my family thrives on a routine instead. Again, it comes down to doing what HE has called me to do. The activity of the day changes in the different seasons we might be in. I’ve had plenty of days when I thought he was leading me one way only to find out a “U- Turn” was needed. I’ve always been blessed when I made those “U-turns” and I’ve always be frazzled when I kept plowing ahead to accomplish my own agenda!  Remember, your success has nothing to do with how much it “looks” like you accomplish and EVERYTHING with your obedience to His personal leading for your family!  I know our God is a God of order; I know He desires our homes show His character of order as well!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- The “If Then” Chart

Question: Dear Jeanette-would you please be willing to share some examples of the consequences you implemented for the offending offense with the if then chart?  Maybe some training examples in each also.  Thank you for any insight you can offer. Thank you again for any information you feel led to share.  Blessings upon your family....

Answer: The “If Then Chart” and “Blessing Chart” by Doorposts has been used in our home since my oldest boy was only four years of age. I must stress that I don’t believe it is fair or even right to use the “If then Chart” and not use the “Blessing” chart. Both charts must be used, in my opinion, to represent a true Biblical example to the children. The passage of Scripture that I used often with the children when we would go over our charts is found in Deuteronomy chapter 28. I encourage you to read through that and consider how God was the creator of the ultimate “If then” and “Blessing” Chart! You had included several topics in your question for me. I am going to go through and write down a few of those for you. I will include the things we have done over the years. In our home, now that the children are older, we include them when we chose the reward/consequence of each action. These charts were a wonderful tool that brought about growth in our home on so many levels. I pray that the Lord will bless you as you seek Him in all your child training!

Keep in mind that these have changed over the years. Here are just a few things the children could remember as some of the consequences we’ve used in the past:

*Arguing/complaining/whining not allowed to talk. We talk about the passage that says, “do all things without complaining and arguing.” If complaining is between siblings we will have the work on a project together until they can do so in a team fashion with joy.

*Teasing/picking fights/causing trouble had to clean toilets- we take this from the Proverbs that says strife is as the “releasing of water” we always talk about how we would run out of the room if someone was going to pee on us and we should do the same thing if we see someone trying to engage us in a fight.

*Hitting/biting/kicking/throwing I truthfully have never had a child act like this but I think it’s because I ‘catch’ it before it becomes a problem. Hitting, biting, kicking and throwing are reactions of frustration. Therefore we do a lot of communicating so that people aren’t frustrated and acting out like this.

*Stealing toys, books, or other items from someone: Must give it back plus more.

*Lying  I also give my children lots of time to tell the truth.I understand that they might need me to talk them through a situation so they can find the courage to tell the truth. I will often say, “remember telling the truth when it is easy is not being a truthful person. A truthful person will tell the truth even when they know they will get in trouble.” I give them many opportunities to tell the truth even when I might know what the truth is. When I have a child that struggles in this area I talk to them about how lies destroy our relationship. When they lie what they are saying is that they don’t care enough about our relationship to tell me the truth. I will question everything they say. When they say, “I love you” I will say.. “now is that the truth or is that a lie too?” when they say they would like milk for breakfast I will ask the same thing, “is that the truth or is that a lie too?” The child has become frustrated in the past and I ask, “oh, do you do something different when you tell the truth that I should look for? A special twitch or something.” Soon, they realize the gravity of lying and how it truly unravels our relationship. I will show them how I can’t tell what’s the truth and what’s the lie. I have to be able to trust that my children will tell me the truth even when it’s hard. Note: This also means that when my children tell me the truth and it’s ‘ugly’ I can’t overreact. I have to remain calm and prayerful in my response and tell them I am thankful they told the truth. That doesn’t mean they don’t have consequences for their actions but it’s not as bad as it would have been had they lied about it.

*Defiance/rebellion against authority I begin working with children when they are young about this topic. We teach our little ones to listen and respect the wisdom of their brothers and sisters. We are always talking about how God placed you as child number (whatever it might be) for a reason. We are always working on good leadership skills. Training older children to not be dictators and what Biblical leaders look like. We teach the younger to submit to the older with joy and how they can help the older child by cheerfully obeying.

*Name calling/foolish or evil speech Don’t get dessert.

*Disrespect/rude behavior/poor manners  We do lots of role playing with manners. My children can tell you stories of some of the funny moments those training moments brought about.

*Irreverent behavior at church We teach the children how to act at Church by the way they act at home. We have a time each day (we have always had this time since our children were infants) when the house becomes quiet and mommy reads. My children learn to sit still without talking in this time. I train them to sit and be quiet at home so when we go to church it’s no problem. I often had people come to me and ask how all my children are so quiet in church. I always replied, “They weren’t born that way. It’s from lots of practice at home.” At our home we have a time for loud play and a time for quietness.

I hope some of these ideas have helped you. I am confident the Lord will lead you perfectly!

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- General Questions

You asked: When & How did you end up in Topeka KS?  Where were you before that?
We moved to KS on July 1st 2008. The Lord is truly the One that brought us to KS! We can say it was for my husbands work but you know how the Lord uses little details like that to get us to where He wants us? That’s what happened. Prior to that we had never even visited KS. We had felt the Lord telling us that we would be moving and leaving CA for months earlier yet, we didn't know why, when, or how. We lived on a 40 acre ranch up near Yosemite National Park where we lived off the grid in a small cabin that my husband rebuilt out of an ‘old shack’.

You asked: I know you grew up on farm life but have you always done this since becoming an adult or did you take it up at some point in life?

Actually no,  I didn't grow up on a farm. I grew up and lived in the city of Fresno, CA. My grandparents were still on the farm when I was a little girl so I have many memories of the farm, the cows, the grape vineyards, the times I sat under the vines and ate till my belly hurt. However, I never worked on a farm myself until I married my Joe. Joe sold our dream home in 1997 and moved us to the Sierra's to live off the grid and homestead. That was my first exposure to farm life. I was terrible at it. I burnt every meal for months. My chickens died, my garden was eaten by deer, we lived in a tent with five children from the age of 11months to 9 years old and I cried almost every day under the Oak tree as I would pray and write to God in my journal. I never let my children or husband know how I felt about the adventure instead I said like David, “I have resolved that my mouth will not sin.” God did an amazing heart work on me up in those mountains, truly amazing!

You asked: How many acres do you live on?
We currently live on 16 acres.

You asked: How old are your animals before you use them for food?  Do you send them off to be butchered?
We butcher our own animals at different ages. Lambs are typically a year old. Chickens are typically 12 weeks old, beef is typically 18months to 2 years old. We don't send them out to be done. We do all the work here. The Lord was gracious and put people in our lives to teach us skills we didn’t have. It was hard, it was hands on, and it’s been worth every bit of it!

You asked: I've read that you try to do things as natural as possible.  Does this mean that you only eat organic "all natural" food.  Lets say you go grocery shopping-in Fresno CA terms would you go to Trader Joes or Whole Foods to purchase your food.

No, I eat as much natural, chemical free food as possible however, I do have a bowl of skittles sitting on my desk as I type you and a box of Ritz crackers in the pantry. I'm a work in progress... I just try to make as many healthy choices as I can and don't beat myself up on the other choices!

You asked: If you do use all organic or "all natural", would you have done this when money was tight?
This is a GREAT question!! Actually, having the resources for something is a "clue" to me that God does or doesn't want me to do something. My Joe is always reminding me to live within the means of our blessings. No matter how good an item might be if God hasn't given us the resources for it, we would be poor stewards to buy it.

You asked: When did you adopt?  Did you do foster care before that?  How old were your born of heart children when they came into your family?  Were any of your born of heart children siblings to one another before coming into your home?

We adopted our first little boy, Sammy, in 2004 through a foster/adopt program. Our other three children adopted are siblings and adopted in 2007. Each adoption had it’s own battle. I told my mother I had to labor for each of my children just some were much LONGER and much different than the others. My adopted children were labored for longer obviously and it was, at times, a very painful process. You know what? I would do it again in a heartbeat!!! know God decided these children were to be ours from the beginning of time. He doesn’t have “plan B’s” He always knew the choice that would be made and He made provision for them! I am confident that He is the One that knit each of these children into my heart when he fashioned me in my mothers womb. We are thankful that the Lord gave us these blessings and don’t' regret one day of the battle. Don’t get me wrong,  I wish our adoption would have been ‘easy’ but the truth is… it wasn’t!   From the moment I met each of these children I have had the same momma bear instinct to fight for them, protect them, and to love them, as with all my children. My Sammy is nine now (he was 13 months when he came to us) Matthew will be 7 in Jan. (he was a newborn when he came to us), Ezekiel is 12 (he was five when he came to us), and Sarah-Grace is 10 (she was three when she came to us)

Well, that's us in a nut shell! :-) I loved sharing with you. Please feel free to ask any time!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Here’s our family at Sammy’s adoption (the extra woman in the back was our sweet social worker who helped us):

Here’s our family at the last adoption (in this photo we have our social worker again.. she’s kind of standing out front and on the end. My brother and his wife are also in this photo):

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Teaching Children to Pray

Question: How do you teach a very little one how to pray? We thank God for parents and siblings, and for our home, but what else? What simple things do you teach your young children to talk to God about?

Answer: What a GREAT question!! I've actually been asked this several times over the years. In our home, we pray with them from the time they are born. In fact, each child has had their grandmother whisper a prayer in their ear the day they were born or adopted. Praying is just something that we do in our home and is not limited to the table or bedtime. When we are walking, we pray and give thanks for the shade. When we are driving we pray for the Lord to help us find safe parking or get us to our destination safely. We are constantly talking to God here in our home. I speak many of my prayers out loud while I work and do things around the house. When a child is having trouble with their school work we pray for God to help us, we thank Him when a child easily learned a task. I would suggest that because of this the children just grow up knowing how to talk to God. Each day before devotions we do take turns having the children pray. I find that the more they pray the more comfortable they are praying. Since we live our lives in this way of simply talking with God when they offer "formal" prayers they seem to flow very naturally as someone who has a relationship with God and not someone who doesn't know how or what to say to Him.

This conversation continued with more follow up questions and sharing. I will post those letters later this week.

With much Love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- How to overcome Pride?

Question: I have a question for you - I kind of look at you as my spiritual mentor outside my family :) I have many spiritual mentors inside my family, but I think that sometimes it is helpful to reach out to our body of believers and see what their thoughts are. I have a "heart" issue I guess you could say that I am needing help with. I love your blog and how faithful you are with your children, I really wish my mom would have invested and loved us when we were growing up like you do your children now :) I know that God has placed my momma in my life for a reason - and don't get me wrong I LOVE my momma and she is a MUCH better mother now than when we were growing up. I have been feeling very convicted with my words as of late. I am not a fan of swearing (I gave my life 110% to God in July, before that I would say I was a believer because I grew up surrounded by believers but never really surrendered my own life and did swear and do awful things) anyways - now I just feel prideful or like I say things on the "flip" of time and then regret it later. How can I fix this? i was praying for forgiveness for making a snide remark on Thursday and I honestly believe God made me fall (literally) because i did not stumble on anything - I have no idea how I fell I just did and then the verse "pride cometh before the fall" was in my head.
I guess I’m asking is how can I address this issue in my life?

Answer: To answer your question, "How can I fix this?" Here are a few thoughts.... Pride hates humility. Therefore, every time you find yourself aware of your pride humble yourself and go to the person to ask for forgiveness. There are times it might hurt and even make you cry to humble yourself... keep doing it. Eventually your flesh will come to hate pride since it causes pain. I would encourage you to do a word study on pride and keep a journal of your thoughts and prayers on each passage. I want to hate everything my God hates! That will only happen if I am spending time in the Word and learning about His character! Don't neglect a true study of His Word!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Teaching children to talk in turn

Question: Hello! :) I was just cleaning out a notebook and came across my notes from a conversation we had two years ago and I was so encouraged again just from reading the notes! :) Wish I could glean from your knowledge again sometime! :) Hey, I do have one question I bet you could answer without much thought- I have become aware of the fact that I have let my children interrupt and all talk at the same time and I just try to have a million conversations at once. They don't mean harm, they just haven't been trained to listen to see if someone else is talking before talking to me or even to each other. Especially at the dinner table. What are some practical ways you can train them to not interrupt?

Answer: What a great, practical question! A common statement I will make when my children begin to talk all at the same time is, “I might have two ears but I only have one mind to process it. Please take your turns so mommy can give you all her attention.”  We have discussed with the children to listen for others to be talking before they enter a room and they just start talking. We see it as an issue of esteeming others when you do this. 

I have taught the children not to ask me questions while I am on the phone or talking with someone by simply telling them that my answer will always be “no”. Since whatever they have to ask me is important to them and they would like me to be agreeable they remember real quick to wait patiently so that they might hear “yes” instead.

When children walk away or answer me when I am still speaking (thinking they already know what I am going to say) I remind them of the Proverbs that says it is a fool that answers before the person is done speaking.

When the children were little, we use to have them take turns at the table to share what was important to them. We stressed that everyone else was to listen and wait for their turn. They could ask the “speaker” questions but they couldn’t take over the conversation. Some of the children are real chatter boxes others needed daddy and mommy to ask them questions about their day, their favorite colors, favorite thing that happened that day and so forth.

So… to answer your question I guess I would just have to say that we talk about it and address it, give verbal encouragement and try to help them yet, our house is also full of life and sometimes it just hits a level of excitement where everyone has something to say at the same time. In those moments I just smile and think, “Someday I’ll miss this!”

Have a wonderful week with your babies! You are blessed!!!

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Contentment

Question: Thanks for the thankful post answering my questions. I requested a  catalog from doorpost, is that how I will find the publication you talked about? Also, I think you are so right about pride and contentment, how do you teach contentment? I would love to have my girls and I spend a week with you and your family, I know we would learn so much! :)

Answer: It’s great to hear from you again. Yes, Doorposts is the company that has For Instruction in Righteousness. A wonderful resource for training our children in the Lord. By the way, if you are ever in our part of the country let us know. We love to open our home to the Body and enjoy friendship visits!

Regarding Contentment:

In our home, we teach contentment from an early age in simple ways just by not saying yes to every request. Teaching them to be content with what they have. When I have a child that asks for multiple things (don't know if you've had this happen before but it happens from time to time here in my house) I will bring their attention to it and say, "You know you need to focus on what you have instead of what you don't have."  I will often say "no" to the children to teach them how to accept that answer with grace. As a momma I love to say yes to my children and give them everything that I have within my power to give them however, I have learned that is not wise. I need to teach them to be content with what they have, to teach them they've been bought with a price they are not their own, to teach them to wait on the Lord for things and bring their requests to Him. There is a beauty that grows inside of a child that is trained to be content. They have a peace that blossoms, it is a beautiful thing!!

When training children in contentment watch for pride, envy, and jealousy. If you see these traits address them and it will help you as you are teaching contentment. For example, teaching children not to envy what their friends have can be with simply bringing their attention to it and telling them of the error in doing so. You can teach them the 10 commandments and then also talk about real life examples that have happened where people fall into debt by trying to have things that God had not given them. Remind them that when the Lord gives us riches He adds no sorrow with it. (Proverbs 10: 22 The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it.) 

Here are some passages that speak of contentment:
Philippians 4: 11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content

1 Timothy 6:8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for He hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

May God give us the wisdom and courage to train our children to be content!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Creating Thankful Hearts

Question: Hello, First let me say thank you for all of your wisdom and time. I have just recently started to realize that my 4 yr old is needing to learn to be thankful. She is a wonderful caring little girl, but struggling with this character trait or needing my guidance to teach her. And I was just wondering if you had some tips that you use with your children. I have started having her say something she is thankful for at her bedtime prayers, but looking for more ways to encourage her. I feel lately that all I am doing is lecturing her and it is not fun. Thanks!

Answer: I posted a training moment in April that might be helpful you can find it by viewing: Cultivating Thankfulness. I have also listed a few other things we have done/do here in the Wood family.

You might have heard me talk about a company called, Doorposts. Over the last 20 years we have used a publication they put out called, For Instruction in Righteousness. I loved using this with the children when they were younger as an addition to our Bible reading. (We do LOTS of Bible reading, memorization and discussion around here in our home). In there you would look up a behavior you were addressing in your home. The index  lists many such as pride, shifting blame, arguing, complaining, selfishness, laziness and many, many more! If you were to look up Complaining/Ingratitude on page 77 of my book (this is a very old copy) you would find a list of verses and thoughts from the author on general information about this sin. What happens or should happen to the complainer (great training ideas are given along with the Biblical reference), what the sin of complaining is likened to, the blessings of gratefulness, stories that illustrate the blessings of thankfulness and stories that illustrate complaining and ingratitude. This books is so valuable as a teaching tool, I can’t recommend it enough. I have my copy in page protectors in a 3 ring binder and still you can tell it has been well used over the years. I would encourage you to prayerfully consider and talk to your husband about using this resource in your home.

Consider writing “thankful” cards to grandparents or friends just because. Typically if we can incorporate some activity with our training it will fun and well accepted.

With construction paper cut out each letter of Thankfulness and each morning have her draw a picture of something that starts with that letter for which she is thankful. For example T- she might draw a picture of a tricycle, H- she might draw a picture of her home, A- she might draw a picture of an Alligator…. and so on. Hang these down a hallway or in her bedroom where there is plenty of space and she will pass by them frequently. Enjoy this time! You’re doing a great job! By the way I found that the back of bathroom doors are WONDERUL places to hang charts on subjects I am trying to teach the children.

Set the example! Make sure she hears you expressing thankfulness often!!

Another idea that I wanted to present for you to consider is allowing her to give to others in need. Often our hearts are ungrateful when we don’t realize how much we have truly been blessed with. Perhaps there are some ways in your community where your little girl can participate in helping others. I use to take my children with me when my husband and I feed those that lived on the streets. In fact, often it was my four year old that helped me pack the sack lunches we would take out to the community as a family.

Often an attitude of ungratefulness comes from pride. Make sure you are watching for those signs. I would also encourage to teach her contentment. When we are content with what we have we are typically more thankful for everything God has graciously given us.

I hope some of this brainstorming with you has helped. Please keep in touch as you can. Don’t grow weary in well doing… you will reap a beautiful reward!!

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Sharing with Friends?

Question: My son doesn’t seem to have a problem sharing with his siblings but if we have company it’s a different story. He won’t share and will often cause fights with his friends. Do you have any suggestions how I can help him with this?

Answer: I’ve learned that children can have an apprehension to share with people they don’t know, especially if it is an item that is special to them (a new birthday gift) or they have had a bad experience in the past with someone breaking one of their toys. In our home, we don’t make children share their special toys with company. We simply ask that they put them away before our guests arrive (I have a plastic container under my bed for them to safely store them). We also ask that they don’t pull them out to play with when our company is there or talk about them. This allows the child to have some control over what toys they are willing to share and what toys will be put away for the entire event. There were times that my children didn’t want to share because they were afraid of it being broken and this remedy relieved those anxieties. There were other times they didn’t want to share because they were being stingy. In those times they learned that if the item was kept away from the guest it was also kept away from them. They couldn’t change their mind mid way through the fellowship. They knew that if they could play with it so could their guest. It wasn’t right to play with something in front of someone that you weren’t willing to share. This isn’t even an issue in the home any longer yet, I remember the days when it was a huge issue! This has helped our family a great deal! Perhaps it would work in your home too!

Thanks for writing!

Because of His Love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Is there anything you overlook?

Question: I do agree that once you pick an issue then we must stay consistent to guide and correct the problem, however, can you provide some examples of things that maybe you would "overlook?" I don't know if that makes sense, and I'm sure it differs with each family, but I'm just curious if there is anything.
Thanks for taking the time! I always value your opinion which is why I ask of it often! :)

Answer:  I don’t ever purposeful overlook bad behavior. With that said, I am very patient and definitely allow my children to do things others don’t. Here’s some real life moments in my home of things I do and don’t “overlook”:

• I had a child who was playing in the pantry and opened the Jell-O box. His sweet little handprints were on the wall near the pantry everywhere he touched. After washing him up, we washed the walls together but left one handprint on the wall. I framed it with a 5X7 frame that remained there for several months. It was only 18 inches from the floor so it wasn’t official “decor” however, every day that little one admired his handprint and we would talk about how we don’t get into the pantry. Guests who came for a visit would often ask me questions about it; several even went home and did similar things.
• We don’t ever let children jump off furniture or beds. I am firm in this because I’ve had two children with broken arms when they didn’t listen to this rule.
• I don’t make children eat all their meals but if they don’t eat their meals they don’t get snacks (we have three meals a day and two to three snacks a day). If a child doesn’t like a certain food I do try my best not to make them eat it. Over the years I will continue to introduce the food again and typically they like it. However, if I try to make them eat it they never seem to grow to like it. I take responsibility and make sure that the foods in my home are nutritious so they can’t just eat junk.
• If I have a child that doesn’t put away their toys. I simply tell them you have five minutes to pick up your toys. If mommy has to do it they become mine and I will give them away, your can buy them back from me or I’ll put them in storage. I’ve done this maybe 3 times in 22 years… they learn real fast that momma only says what she means! I also take responsibility in the matter by making sure I have containers and toys separated and only have a limited few out for them to freely get into.
• I never discipline my child for having accidents at night time. I never make a big deal about it. We just change clothes, take a bath, wash the sheets and air the bed. We don’t talk about it just take care of it. I don’t ever want to make them feel bad for something they couldn’t help. I do help them by watching the clock and making sure not to give too many fluids before bed. I also try to make sure they don’t go to bed exhausted to where they can’t wake themselves up.
• I do require them to remain in their seatbelts or car seats.
• I let them dress themselves. I just make sure I only buy things I don’t mind them wearing. If they go to church with two left shoes and two different colored socks that’s okay. I might mention it to them but it doesn’t bother me. However, they must have their underwear on! I don’t know if it’s just my little ones or what but I really have to stay on top of them when their little. They keep trying to get dressed without them!
• I do let children play freely. I’ve had doors with holes in them from a child “hammering”. Mud in the carpet from mud pies that were brought in for me to enjoy, eggs on the sliding glass door from children having an egg toss before mommy woke up. We’ve even had our share of water fights in the house (those were many years ago when I only had two children and squirt guns didn’t hold tanks of water like they do today). A friend of the family came over and started a food fight with the children. That was okay not that I would want it to happen again but I made it through with a gracious smile.
• I encourage my children to talk to me. I don’t mind if they tell me they don’t like something. The rule in our home is you can say anything you want as long as you’re respectful. As soon as you talk to me with disrespect the conversation is over. I don’t ever allow disrespect, even it's "playfully" done.
• I don’t allow “foul” speech. My children actually think that “bad” words are unkind words. So they often think that others say “bad” words because they are words we wouldn’t say in our house. I have to explain that every home has their own rules.
• I don’t overlook my children screaming at me, hitting me or sticking out their tongues at me. I can’t even remember a child ever trying this with me. I sure have seen plenty of children that do it. But it just doesn’t happen here in our home. I believe it’s because we’ve been responsible to make sure to take care of the little details like the tone of voice and rolling of eyes.

Do those give you some ideas as a springboard of things I “overlook”? I appreciate you taking the time to ask again. If I don’t answer your question fully the first time I want to know so I can!
You’re a blessing!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- To Homeschool or not?

Question: I have been reading your blog for a while now and I have a question. My kids go to public school and have for the past 3 years. They do well, are very well liked by their teachers and peers. They get great grades and even have won Student of the Month. But I have feel God leading me to pull them out and homeschool them. I feel that I failed them and have "ruined" them by letting them go to school ..What is your opinion?

Answer: I would encourage you to do what God is leading you to do in spite of how things look with your human eyes. Have you talked with your husband about this? What are His thoughts?
I understand your dilemma, because I have done it all too often, we look with our human eyes to try and understand why God is leading us to do something. However, God wants us to obey His voice because of our Faith and trust in Him not because we trust in what we see. 

Isaiah 55: 8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

You asked what my opinion was, I believe that each of us must do what God leads us to do or we are walking in disobedience. It’s that simple. When I remind myself of this Truth, I begin to break the big issues down into basic steps of obedience. Walking in disobedience is a place I don't ever want to walk. I believe that His grace is much larger than my mistakes and that even if I do "fail" He is there to offer restoration and hope when I do as He leads me. I am confident that there is a spiritual battle for our children and it's not with the teacher or a specific school district or anything else tangible. This battle is about who and how these children will be trained and taught. Satan desires to steal, kill, and destroy yet God has come to give us life and give it to us more abundantly. Satan wants to destroy the family, to pull children's hearts away from their parents and pull parents hearts away from their children. He uses a variety of tools to do this therefore, we must be on constant guard. Continue praying; I will pray with you. Let me know if you have any other questions. I would love to hear how the Lord leads you.

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Picking your battles?

Question: “Do you ever pick your battles? I often wonder when I am disciplining my son if others would just ignore some of these things?

Answer: If that means ignoring bad behavior or a character that needs to be addressed, then no I wouldn’t ignore it! Correcting and training children in the small details will prevent many large issues from every happening! I don’t want to be lazy or find anything taking my time away from training my children. I also don’t discipline children as often as others think I should and truthfully that’s okay with me. I must stand before God accountable for the training up of my children. Not my girl friend, not my neighbor… me! That is an awesome responsibility and I truly want to hear these words, “Well done my good and faithful servant…”. You've heard me say it before, "I don’t believe a child should be disciplined for anything they weren’t trained to do." I find that too many people assume their child should know better and discipline out of frustration. I also believe in showing mercy but not to the point of the using it as an excuse for laziness on my part. I also don’t let my children abuse mercy. I find over and over again in the Scriptures that God did show mercy, many times, however, if the people would still not repent from their actions then they were disciplined.

Bottom line, if God reveals an issue to me then I address it. I don’t ever walk away without addressing the “tone of voice” or the “proud eyes”. I find that if I deal with these subtle issues we don’t have big ones! I have a relationship with my children. They know that I desire nothing more than their success. I don’t think you can separate that relationship from the discipline and still have the same results. Your child has to know, “Mommy loves me. Mommy has taken time to teach me not to do such and such. I have refused instruction and therefore there is a consequence for my actions.”
Hope that helps! Keep in touch as you can! I would love to hear how the Lord leads you!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Caught doing good!

Question: What do you do when you have children saying, 'Mom!! so and so isn't doing this or that' Some days, I'm okay with it but other days, it drives me crazy.

Answer: In our home we’ve found this problem to soon resolve it’s self when we put the children’s attention on what the others are doing right, on esteeming others better than themselves and by letting another mouth praise them and not their own.

1Th 5:13  And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake. And be at peace among yourselves.

Php 2:3  Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Php 4:8  Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Pro 27:2  Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger, and not thine own lips.

Here’s what we have done and found great success:

We talk to the children about the verses I shared above and then play a “game”. Anytime you see someone doing something right come tell momma. Whoever has the most good reports said about them at the end of the day gets a sticker, to stay up late or some other small treat!. We discovered when we did this the child not helping began to help and the frustrated child was no longer frustrated. We only needed to do this training session for a short time before it just became a way of living in our home. I often hear my children “telling” on another child… but 9 our of 10 times their telling what someone did right!

Now, I must tell you…. there was a time many years back that I overheard two of the children scheming a plan about this training session. The one said, “I’ll tell mom something you did good if you tell her something I did good.” Before the second could answer I informed them that was “cheating”. However, I did stress that if you want people to notice what you’re doing right you should notice what their doing right too! If you don’t, you just might find that they have nothing at all to say about you. So give your words of praise freely, as long as it isn’t flattery!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’S Mailbox- How does Bible time work in your house?

Question: I'm wondering how quiet times work in your house? Do you read the Bible together at a certain time of the day or does everyone do it on their own? What time of day do you all do it - morning? Noon? or night? And do you have a certain way you like to read your Bible - like using a certain Bible study guide, reading through the bible in a year or journaling?

Answer: We read the Bible each morning together as a family. My husband and I often read and study the Word together and older children have their own personal time as well. As a family we read through the Bible from cover to cover and when we get to the end we start again! We love it! We discuss what we read, answer questions, look up words the children may not have known with our 1828 Noah Webster Dictionary as well as look up other’s thoughts through commentaries. My favorite commentary being, Matthew Henry. We don’t try to get through the Bible in a year. We just read it faithfully each day and discuss it as the Lord leads. This last time it took us about 18 months to get through the Bible. There were days we read one chapter and others that we read four or more chapters. There were times that we were finished in 20 minutes with our Bible time and other times that we took 4 hours!

Along with our “through the Bible reading” we will read the “Proverbs of the day”. If it’s the 10th then we read the 10th chapter of Proverbs. Normally the children split up the verses and take turns reading. At the end of each chapter, each family member says what verse meant the most to them, or what verse they liked most. Then, a child will write “their” verse on our wipe off board that sits in the main room. They enjoy this task each day and often decorate the board as well!

That’s it! Simple yet powerful and effective.Our family Bible time is the center of many of our favorite family memories! The most important thing is that reading the Bible is a priority in you home! Let your children see that you will set other things aside but you will not push your time in the Word aside!
Hope those ideas help! May God be made strong in each of our homes!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- “I’m praying for you”

Question: I often have people say, “I’m praying for you. I know I should be thankful but it always makes me feel like they have some ‘inside’  connection to God and that something wrong is happening or going to happen. I try to be thankful but instead I feel awkward. There are times I pray for others but because of how uncomfortable it makes me, I never tell them I’m praying. Do you have any insight on this? Am I alone in this? Do others ever feel this way?

Answer: “Am I alone in this?” NO! you’re not! It’s sad but what you share is true for many people. Thank you for bringing the topic up and let’s talk about it. I presented this question to our friends on Facebook and was blessed by the truthful, heartfelt responses. If you would like to view them for yourself you can visit our Wall at: www.facebook.com/momentswithmom I would love to hear what our blog readers have to say too! I am going to highlight some of my thoughts on the subject as well as tips to overcome the awkwardness. Most of all I pray for the Lord removes these borders that the enemy has built within the Body and allows us to care for one another’s burdens and worship Him in unity!

Questions to Consider:

• Could it be pride that stops us from praying in public? Pride that keeps us from asking for prayer? Pride that stems from insecurities?
• Do we feel we have an image to keep so we can’t ask for prayer? “What would others think of me if they knew?”
• Are we so self absorbed that we don’t have time to be still and hear the Lord bring someone to mind so that we can pray for them?
• Do we assume we’re just “thinking” of someone on our own strength instead of the idea that God is bringing that person to mind for a purpose?
• Do we see God as Sovereign in every area of our life… even in leading strangers to pray for us?
• Are we governed by critical spirits that cause us to misread between the lines of what the person is really saying when they tell us, “I’m praying for you”?
• Do we doubt that others are praying for us because we know how little we pray for them?
• Is our walk with the Lord new (not the way we were brought up) so it seems foreign to tell people you’re praying for them even when you are or pray for them in public?
• Have we shared our hearts with someone asking for prayer and encouragement only to discover they use it to hurt us? Do we allow that experience to rob us from the victory God wants in our lives as we work in unity as a Body?
• Are we uncomfortable with them praying for us because we question their own walk with God or for that matter even that they are praying to the One and only true God?

Suggestions and Tips:

• Step out of the box: Don’t let anything keep you from sharing with someone else that you’re praying for them. You never know how you sharing that with them can be an answer to prayer.
• Don’t be afraid to take the first step: Share your prayer requests and needs with others that the Lord has brought into your life.
• Make sure that you graciously say “thank you” when others pray for you. Just consider, someone took time out of their day to present you, your family, and your needs before the Lord. I find this a wonderful comfort!!
• Pray and wait for the Lord to direct your steps: If the Lord leads you to pray for someone in public- do it! If he doesn’t- don’t!
• Practice doing good: The more you pray for others, the more comfortable it will become to you. The more you share with others and encourage others, the more natural it will feel.
• Start a Prayer Get together: Get together with others that you trust to share your hearts, lives, and pray for one another!
• Be honest with yourself and others: Don’t say you’re praying for someone when you’re not!
• Keep a prayer journal: Immediately write down requests that others share with you. Then, using your journal as a reminder, pray for them in your quiet times and/or family time.
• Follow up: Make sure you follow up with a person that you have told you would pray for. This lets them know that you spoke genuinely and allows you to record God’s answers in your journal as well. Make sure you give Him praise as you see His work unfold!
• Duty is yours.. results are Gods: Pray as the Lord leads, share as the Lord leads and then trust Him for all the details. If the person doesn’t respond the way you thought they should don’t think another thing about it! You were being obedient to do as you felt the Lord leading you to do… and in the end… that’s all that matters!

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Help for those who’ve had an abortion

This note came to me yesterday in response to my post, “Overcoming your past”. I hope that by posting this it can help others.

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Mrs. Woods,

    Hi! My name is Allison and I'm a reader of your blog and on your friend list on Facebook. I wanted to write to you in regards to overcoming your past. I am someone who at age 21 had an abortion. I regretted it every single day. I got saved at 24, and while I felt saved, I couldn't forgive myself for my abortion. I took a class at my church and FINALLY found peace!! The class is called SaveOne and it is a 12 week class that goes over who God is, taking responsibility, healing from the emotions that surround your abortion (guilt, anger, etc) finding and offering forgiveness (to yourself and those involved) and finally giving your baby a ceremony.

    I'm now 30 years old and speak out against abortion and also lead the SaveOne class at my church. This 12 weeks I have three ladies attending- each with different stories. One aborted in the second trimester because her child had severe medical problems, one was pressured into it by her parents, and one is a 65 year old lady who was held down by her doctor and forced to do it back in the 60's before abortion was even legal. But the one thing they have in common is the pain, regret, guilt, and sadness regarding their abortion.
    Statistics show that 1 in 3 women will have had an abortion by the time they are 45 years old. That's 1/3 of the population!!! Many women live with the pain and regret in silence, not sure of where to go. Pro-choice people tell them to get over their emotions, that they did nothing wrong. Pro-life people can make them feel worse, because they killed their baby. They can suffer from something called Post Abortion Syndrome (list of symptoms can be found here: (http://www.postabortionsyndrome.org/post_abortion_syndrome_symptoms.html)

    I would ask that you reach out to your readers...many of them could be suffering in silence, not sure where to turn for fear of being judged. They can go to the SaveOne website and find a chapter near them that will offer healing based on Biblical principals. If there isn't a SaveOne class near them, they can go through the book with a counselor from the main center via phone. This is a FREE service, the only cost is $15.00 for the book they will use.

    Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions. I know this is a sensitive subject, but I truly believe in helping these women! The pro-choice movement is NOT telling these women the TRUTH of what abortion actually is, what their other options really are, and the lasting emotional and physical effects that can linger. When you are in a crisis pregnancy it is easy to be pressured into something.  If you would like to read my testimony regarding my abortion, it is here (scroll down and read "Allison's Story")  http://www.pauldingpregnancy.org/abortion_14.html
    Thank you,
    Allison

Here is the website to offer to women to find a chapter near them. If they cannot find one near them they can contact them:
    SaveOne
    P.O. Box 95043
    N Little Rock, AR 72190
    USA
    Phone: 501-681-8979
    Fax: 708-777-5342
    Email: Info@saveone.org
   

To locate a chapter:

http://saveone.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=29&Itemid=6&chapter=all&phpMyAdmin=hZlmiqd7sJMxBbrQjaBfgyUDsSa

M.O.M’s Mailbox- Overcoming your past

Special Note: This weekend I will be selecting five questions from our readers and facebook “friends” as the topics for the week. If you would like to participate and ask me a question simply send me a note on facebook or email me using the mailbox link on the right hand side.  I delight in sharing as the Lord leads!

 

Question: My childhood was devastating. I grew up in an abusive home and wasn’t protected. As I grew older I began making unwise decisions that only added to the pain and chaos. Now that I have given my life to the Lord, I know I am forgiven but I still feel this heaviness that I can’t get rid of. It has affected my marriage, my parenting, and my friendships. My husband and I have went to counseling but still my past haunts me. Do you have any suggestions on how I can finally overcome my past?

Answer: The first thing I want to assure you of is HIS LOVE! “Who the Son sets free is free indeed!” (John 8:36  If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed. ) Christ died for us while  we were yet sinners (Romans 5:8  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us). He has always loved YOU and desires to have a personal relationship with YOU! (Jeremiah 24:7  And I will give them an heart to know me, that I am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God: for they shall return unto me with their whole heart. ) I too have events and moments of my past that are not God glorifying however, they do not haunt me or keep me in bondage. I know that it is by His amazing grace that I have been set free and so I live each day in that awareness. I have always felt that if I didn’t live my life 100% free from the chains of the past then I wasn’t free at all! I rarely remember that person of the past, for my sight is set ahead toward the mark that is before us! (Hebrews 12:1  Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us).  I believe that if I allowed the past to dictate my days it would steal my tomorrows; I wasn’t willing to let Satan have that victory! I know how deep sin can take someone. I know the devastation, lies, and stealing that the enemy does. (John 10:10  The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly).  I also know that our God can restore ALL that the locust have eaten! (Joel 2:25  And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten) Many times I hear from people that they think I have the perfect life, perfect relationships and perfect home. I am not being modest when I say that everything you see good in my life is HIS doing!  I do love the life God has given to me, the relationships he has restored, and the mission field of my home. I am confident that He is no respecter of persons and He wants to do the same in your heart and home! (Acts 10:34  Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons)

Here are a few helpful tips I discovered over the years:

CONFESSION: I went to those that I had wronged and humbly asked for forgiveness. I put a great deal of prayer into it before hand and had specific things I was asking forgiveness for. I prayed for timing and went to others when He led. (James 5:16  Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. )

REPENTANCE: I did a 180 degree turn in my life!! My life looks nothing like it did before and that was on purpose. The selfish habits, thoughts, or ideologies had to go! I was filled with so much thanksgiving for what Christ had done for me that I wanted (and still want) to offer myself as a LIVING sacrifice. (Acts 3:19  Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out )

LIVING IN GRACE: Living in grace didn’t mean that I had a pass for poor behavior. It meant that I had another opportunity to impact the world for God! It meant that anytime I would remember something grievous that was done to me or that I did, I would instantly give thanks to the Lord for saving me from the pain and I would give it “all” back to Him.  If you’re like me, you will notice times when you have a choice to live as a victim or live victorious! I chose victorious and you can too!!

I know I added much more Scripture references than I typically do in a reply. I would encourage you to go through and look up these verses for yourself. While I love to share with you ladies, I am confident that my words will pass and with time they will be forgotten however, HIS Word will stand. It has power and offers life for those that accept Him. May God be glorified in your life as you throw off the chains of the past and embrace the beautiful life He has for you! I have often found this passage of Scripture to sum up my life. Perhaps it will be meaningful to you too!

When the LORD turned again the captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. 
Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them.

The LORD hath done great things for us; whereof we are glad. 
Turn again our captivity, O LORD, as the streams in the south. 
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. 
He that goeth forth and weepeth, bearing precious seed, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him.

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Planned and Purposeful in the midst of “life”?

Question: You mentioned in an earlier post how you approach each day with purpose and prayer. How do you accomplish that when you have toddlers who cause unexpected messes and such?

Answer: I remember years ago, as a young momma, that I would create school plans and daily to do lists and then get discouraged as my day unraveled with character training moments and those “unexpected messes”. I still remember the day that I was crying out to the Lord for direction when He impressed upon my heart a verse that has always given me much comfort. Proverbs 16:9 “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.” It was a weekday and I remember having a very large “to do” list. However, as soon as I would make any attempt to accomplish one of my tasks I would be faced with a cleaning disaster that needed immediate attention or character training that required my diligence. Lunch was late, children were fussy, the house wasn’t tidy and I felt exhausted! Just sharing with you takes me back to that day when my house seemed so heavy and my heart wasn’t much lighter. I walked to my bedroom at the end of the hall, and spent some time in prayer. I felt led to take the children on a nature walk to help change our perspective on the day. I could return and tackle that “to do” list after our brisk walk, or so I thought. I opened up my double stroller, buckled my nursing infant and toddler in their seat and encouraged the older three (9, 7, and 5) to walk along side mommy. We took a new route and decided a trip to the country store would be a treat. As we walked, we noticed the sky was turning gray. We discussed how we should put a spring in our step and hurry home before we were caught in the rain.  We were over a mile away from the house when the clouds burst forth with buckets of water. We ran to hide under a tree of a neighbor we didn’t know. As I tried to keep my little ones dry I prayed, “Lord, please! Nothing I seem to do today is working out.”  Again that verse came to mind, “A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.” Suddenly I realized that I had my eyes on my “to do” list instead of God’s plan for the day! I didn’t have “standing in the rain” on my agenda for the day. Yet, He knew that is where I would be when I heard His voice remind me that He is the One that orders my day, not me!  What I was seeing as “interruptions” were exactly what He had planned for me to be doing! What I saw as failures and impossible messes, He saw as vital for the moment!

From that day since, I have carefully considered His “to do” list and placed priority on His agenda instead of my own plans. Oh, I still make my lists, and my sticky notes are scattered on the desk or my computer with people to call, questions to answer, and projects to complete. However,I have great Peace when I must set those lists aside to accomplish God’s “to do” list instead. Yes, sometimes that means I am setting aside ‘important’ calls or projects so that I can train a toddler how to put away the books he loves to pull off the shelf. Yet, there is no second guessing myself when I chose to cuddle with a child, read to a little one, or listen to my teenagers heart. When I keep my priorities on His plans I have great joy!!

I hope there is something here that can help you as you learn to keep the interruptions of life from interfering with your Ministry at Home. How blessed we are to serve His people- our family!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood