M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Sharing with Friends?

Question: My son doesn’t seem to have a problem sharing with his siblings but if we have company it’s a different story. He won’t share and will often cause fights with his friends. Do you have any suggestions how I can help him with this?

Answer: I’ve learned that children can have an apprehension to share with people they don’t know, especially if it is an item that is special to them (a new birthday gift) or they have had a bad experience in the past with someone breaking one of their toys. In our home, we don’t make children share their special toys with company. We simply ask that they put them away before our guests arrive (I have a plastic container under my bed for them to safely store them). We also ask that they don’t pull them out to play with when our company is there or talk about them. This allows the child to have some control over what toys they are willing to share and what toys will be put away for the entire event. There were times that my children didn’t want to share because they were afraid of it being broken and this remedy relieved those anxieties. There were other times they didn’t want to share because they were being stingy. In those times they learned that if the item was kept away from the guest it was also kept away from them. They couldn’t change their mind mid way through the fellowship. They knew that if they could play with it so could their guest. It wasn’t right to play with something in front of someone that you weren’t willing to share. This isn’t even an issue in the home any longer yet, I remember the days when it was a huge issue! This has helped our family a great deal! Perhaps it would work in your home too!

Thanks for writing!

Because of His Love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood