This week I received a call from a woman that we have mentored for the last nine years. She and I both praised God as we evaluated the good work that He has done and continues to do in her life. Our God has no limits! The question she called with was regarding her son who deals with anger. She has tried an assortment of tactics to help him but still this young man deals with anger toward his siblings. There were a few things I shared with her that I thought might be helpful for others too.
First of all, anger is an issue of the heart. Heart issues are only dealt with by God and prayer. We can modify behavior but we can never change anyone’s heart- the heart is God's territory! So… step one is PRAYER!
Secondly, it is important for us to understand what is causing the anger so we can help them overcome it. If you are uncertain, pray for wisdom and direction. He is faithful and will answer your prayer! I have noticed, through the years, that anger is often the reaction to two different situations:
- Loss of control
- Feeling unappreciated
No one likes to feel out of control. Healthy boundaries, daily schedules and minimizing unpredictable moments will help reduce incidents of anger. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and seen as a valuable member of the family. Help your child find age/skill appropriate chores, activities or tasks in the home that they can be in charge of. When your child is calm, talk about this issue of anger. Share Scriptures regarding the fool, anger and self control. Allow them to participate in establishing Biblical consequences for poor choices and behavior. Encourage them to communicate their feelings instead of acting out.
Because this is an issue of the heart, the variables are unlimited. However, God remains the same! He is faithful and will complete the good work He begins in your life and your child’s! If you have questions or specific needs feel free to contact me via email.
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood