M.O.M.'s Mailbox

This is the continued letter that I received from a precious young momma. The first section is listed as, A Moment with M.O.M. - mommies wear armor too. May our homes reflect His grace!

Question- "There are times when it is obvious when a child is outright disobeying, but I'm just not clear on the gray areas. Most days feel like absolute chaos, where I'm constantly reminding someone of a rule. How long do you have to train before its disobeying? And how in the world do I start when there are so many things going wrong?"

How long you train a child varies from one child to the next and from one situation to the next. It keeps us dependant on God and seeking His Wisdom. Take time to consider one thing that is bringing "chaos" to your home and tackle it as the Lord leads. Make sure you pray about this- the Lord will show you what to require of your children and when. Parenting our children takes a great deal of prayer, guidance, energy and effort! We don't just roll out of bed and take the day as it comes. We must be purposeful and prayerful about each requirement in the home!

With that said, once you train a child in a rule then you must discipline them if they refuse to obey that rule. They can't be allowed to keep "forgetting" that rule.

I would start by giving them the directive: "You can stay up and have quiet time while the other children nap however, you must be quiet during that time."

Then I would train them:

I would explain to them that when the home is quiet for nap time even "small" noises sound loud. I would show them the things in the room that would make much too much noise during nap time. I would ask questions, "Do you think this toy is quiet or noisy?" As much as possible try and let them think out which items are not meeting your 'quiet time' requirements.

To give them a visual reminder you may want to purchase some colored labels (they make colored dots and those work best). Have the child put a red dot on the items they should not chose during quiet time and put a green dot on the toys that are okay to use.

Offer them encouragement as needed- we all need encouragement in well doing! Show them the 'quiet things' such as read a book, draw, color, write out Scriptures and so forth. You may even want to have a plastic container of 'quiet toys' that are only allowed to be played with during this time. Change the items on a regular basis to offer variety and keep the container special. I use to have shoe boxes with toys by theme. I would store them and rotate in our home as needed. Doing this kept 'old' toys new. The children's faces would light up each time I brought out 'new' toys and would often have fun memories to recall!

If the child refused to obey the directive after I had carefully trained them then I must discipline them:

For this example, I would insist they take a nap every day until I felt they had learned their lesson. When they asked me if they had to take a nap or for how many days they must take a nap, I would tell them that I will have to wait for the Lord to show me when they have learned to obey my voice. I would encourage them that by obeying me cheerfully and taking the nap I can see that they will obey me and the 'quiet time' rules.

Please remember the suggestions I am giving you are real life suggestions that we have done here in our home. However, they are only suggestions. You need to pray and ask the Lord how He wants you to minister to your family and train your children in godliness.

Because of His Grace,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs

Proverbs 3: 3

Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart.

If we keep reading the passage we can understand the real importance of mercy and truth- they both are needed to find favour and good understanding in the sight of God. It is important for children to see Mercy displayed and Truth as the foundation of their home. Take some time to talk about mercy and truth. Look them up in your dictionary, look up verses that discuss mercy and truth. Give real life examples from your home of what mercy looks like and how truth is fundamental.

Here's an idea you might want to try. Remember to pray and ask the Lord for wisdom as you train your children. He gives His people creativity and guides us perfectly- I know He has done it for me over and over again!

Activity:
Write Mercy and Truth on one card.
Take a hole puncher and make a hole at the top of each card to string ribbon through
Cut a piece of ribbon long enough to make a necklace
Slip the card onto the ribbon
Wear as a necklace

Make one for YOU too! :-)

As your child goes throughout the day talk the opportunities that arise that need us to show mercy and/or truth. If you're like me you'll find the Lord showing you many areas for yourself. Make sure you share these as the Lord allows... talk about how you chose to surrender to His will. Let your child see you- a sinner saved by God's amazing Grace and tender MERCY!

May our homes reflect His goodness!
Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment of Training 7/02/09

Today's Training Moment goes with our Proverbs. It is a smiple activity that we have done in our home on many occasions. Enjoy!

We must teach our children to search for wisdom just as if they were searching for gold!

Do your children know how to read the Bible? Do they know the books of the Bible? Who wrote them and when? Can they tell you the Ten Commandments? Their purpose? What about the days of creation, the fruit of the spirit, the armor of God and the beatitudes? These are just a few of questions the Wood family goes through on a weekly if not daily basis. What about Bible Study tools, do your children know how to use a concordance and commentary? If you personally don't understand these, jot me an email and I would be more than happy to help you. You aren't alone! I can think of two women, just this last week, that asked me how to use these tools.

To help my children understand the value and really examine themselves regarding this Truth of seeking Wisdom I have often done the following:

"Children, if I were to tell you that there was gold on our property what would you do?"

"SEARCH FOR IT!" they replied

"Really? Are you sure?" I question. Then some of the children start telling me what tools they will use and where they are going to look and I just keep listening curiously.

"Hmm... well, then why don't I see you searching for Wisdom like you tell me you would search for gold? Gold is temporary and as lovely as it may be to have some it's nothing in comparison to Wisdom."

Many of the children were quiet... faces showed deep thought as they considered, "What do my actions say I believe?"

I have also done the following:

During your daily Bible study consider having children look up words in the concordance and dictionary. Take time to ask them questions about the Scriptures and what they mean perhaps you will even want to look in your commentary and see what those notes have to say.

To help the younger children learn to seek out Wisdom, I have written on yellow or gold paper "bits of wisdom" to help them do what is right. I would suggest you write the seven things God hates as well as what He loves. One item on each card and discuss them as they find them throughout the day. Don't dedicate time for them to go search for them. Tell them to search for them as they live, as they do their chores, as they go about their regular activities.

Supplies we use:

Yellow or Gold paper

Strongs Concordance

Matthew Henry Commentary

Noah Webster 1828 Dictionary

Judy Rogers- Teach me while my heart is tender CD (song for the seven things God hates)

Scriptures:

7 things God hates- Proverbs 6:16-19

What God loves- Psalm 45:7

To please God- Hebrews 11:16

God gives grace to: James 4: 6, 1 Peter 5:5

There are so many more Scriptures I could share but time won't allow today! May the Lord fill your homes with grace as you seek Wisdom!

With much love,

Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment in Proverbs 7/2/09

Proverbs 2: 1-5

My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee; So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding; Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding; If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures; then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.

Doing what's right doesn't just happen magically. We must teach our children (and ourselves) that we don't just wake up and carelessly go about our day. We must wake up and purposely dedicate ourselves to searching for wisdom, getting understanding and coming to a knowledge of God! In fact we are to search for it as if it was a hidden treasure. If you don't purpose to do what is right you'll find yourself doing what is wrong without any effort at all!

A Moment in Proverbs 7/1/09

Proverbs 1: 33

But whoso hearkeneth unto me shall dwell safely, and shall be quiet from fear of evil.

It is our duty to represent the Lord as weak and as frail as we might be. This passage reminds us to create an atmosphere in the home that is free of fear. Notice this passage did not say we would be quiet from evil, it said we would be quiet from even the fear of evil! We must reassure our children that they live in safety. Sometimes we can assume that children know these things and we don't see all the fearful things that can cause their little hearts to grow anxious. Make sure you are not allowing fear to come in through your television, computer, electronic games, books or unresolved strife between family members and friends. We need to create homes that are safe both emotionally and physically!Take some time today to ask the Lord for wisdom, evaluate your home, and talk to your child. See if there is anything that is making your child fearful and then prayerfully rid your home of fear so that they might enjoy the Truth of His Word.

A Moment of Training 6/30/09

All those that know me, know that I strongly believe it is wrong to discipline children for matters they have not been trained in. Training takes time, energy and is most often done without extreme emotion. Our flesh does not want to take this time, exert this energy or control our emotions however; it is only when we obey the Word of God that we will see victory in our homes.

Proverbs 22: 6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

A Moment of Training is a weekly post, Lord willing, sharing a tip on how to train your children in a particular Truth. I pray it is a blessing for you and your home. Enjoy!

At times our children can feel very 'alone'. As if everyone they know is "cool" and they find themselves left out and feeling odd. I am thankful that my children take those moments to share with me their heart. They don't hide their feelings rather, they come to their father and me for guidance. A few weeks ago, Joe suggested, that maybe we aren't as 'peculiar' as we should be. We often judge our condition on our social standards and not the Word of God. To demonstrate the message my Joe was trying to get across I filled three cups with water. One cup (cup a) was filled with water that was room temperature, one cup (cup b) was filled with hot water out of the tap, and the last cup (cup C) was placed in the microwave on high for two min.

Joe asked the children to feel the first cup- cup (a) - "Would you say that water is hot?" he asked. "Well, no but it is hotter than my milk was." some of the children responded. "Okay, what about cup (b) is that hot?" Joe continued to ask. "Yes" was heard from a few of the children. Others said, "Well it is hotter than the last cup... okay I guess we can call it hot" Joe continued to talk to them about how we as people often judge ourselves based off of what others are doing and not off the Word of God. We decide if we are "hot" by poor comparisons of this world instead of simply striving for the standard set before us in the Scriptures. Finally, I brought over cup (c). You could see the steam rising from the cup. Before I even made it to the table many of the children stated, "Now, that's HOT!" "How do you know?" Joe asked. "Because we can see the steam" they replied. "Could you see steam in the other cups you called 'hot'?" "No!" they exclaimed. So... this cup is different- much different isn't it?" All the children started to get the message daddy was presenting. After some more discussion daddy began sharing how God wants’ us boiling hot... not luke warm. We filled another cup with ice cubes and poured cup (a) over them. Nothing happened. We then poured cup (b) over the ice cubes and this time you could see that they were having a little effect but not much. However, when we poured cup (c) over the ice cubes they immediately began cracking and soon were melted.

"God wants us to be HOT so that the World can see the difference. He wants us to pour ourselves into the lives of others and because of our fire for God melt their cold hearts. God wants us to be different but not just a little different. He wants us to be separate from the World... He wants us to be Peculiar people! Let's make sure we aren't comparing ourselves to the Worlds standards instead let us use His Word as our Standard."

Joe continued his moment of training and continued to talk to the children about how we don't add the "ice cubes" into our lives instead we pour ourselves into their lives. He then had me display that truth by taking a handful of ice cubes and placing them in the cup of hot water. Sure the ice cubes melted but now the HOT water was luke warm! Much different than before when the ice cubes were melted but the cup of HOT water remained separate and HOT!

It was a good training moment!

Pray and ask the Lord how he would have you train your children in His Truths! If you would like to use this training moment from our home feel free too. It could take you any where from 10 min or more depending on the family discussion that comes from it. Make sure you draw the children into conversation. This isn't a time for you to 'preach' to them, it's a time to train them. I have included items needed and Scripture you may find helpful below. May the Lord's Name be exalted! ~

Mrs. Joseph Wood

Items needed:

3 cups filled with water (one cup with room temp. water, one cup with hot tap water and one cup with boiling water)

2 cups of ice cubes

Scriptures:

Deuteronomy 14:2- For thou art an holy people unto the LORD thy God, and the LORD hath chosen thee to be a peculiar people unto himself, above all the nations that are upon the earth

John 15:19- If ye were of the world, the world would love his own: but because ye are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hateth you.

Romans 12:2- And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Revelations 3:16 So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

A Moment in Proverbs 6/30/09

Each day, Lord willing, I will share a verse from Proverbs and my thoughts about it. Enjoy!

Proverbs 29:17 Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

Sometimes we can think that we are too tired to correct our children. However, this Scripture reminds us that only when we correct our son will we really find rest. Just ask any mom that has a child who is untrained, rebellious or left to himself... she is tired with all the trouble the child finds, exhausted with worry and losing hope quickly! Remember, correct your child and he will give you rest... more than that... he shall give delight unto your soul! There is no greater delight than being a mommy to a child that walks in Truth!

Don't grow weary in well doing ladies... for in due season you will reap your reward and it will be great!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood

A Moment wtih M.O.M- Mommies wear armor too!

The other day, as we were going through family photos, we ran across a photo of my oldest son dressed for battle. We were talking about how he used to love anything dealing with historical battles. When he was little he even asked me to wake him each morning to the sound of a bugle- which I did do for awhile. This child loved to learn about mighty men, how they fought, how they lived and how they died. Sgt. York and William Wallace were just a few of his favorites. Yet, dressing for battle isn't just for boys, is it friends? It is a wise mommy that will dress herself as instructed in Ephesians 6: 11-18

Consider a note I wrote to a young mommy not too long ago (it has been edited slightly- I will be sharing it over a period of time and not all at once due to length):

The Lord desires for us to live an abundant life full of His blessings. Our days are rich when we are living as He has purposed us to- ministering to His people! The enemy is going to try and steal, kill and destroy so that we don't experience the Joy and delight of our blessed position as handmaidens of the Most High God. It is important for us to dress for battle each day!

Consider 2 Chronicles chapter 11 and 12 where it discusses in detail David’s mighty men of valor. In verse 8 of chapter 12 we are told that they were, "valiant men of war, and men of arms, and apt for battle, which could handle spear and shield and their faces were like the faces of lions (meaning fierce and terrible) and were like the roes in the mountains in swiftness." They were not born this way... it was not in their DNA. The strength and knowledge they had came from a great deal of time and study of war and its weapons. They had been preparing for battle since childhood! They took their task and duties with all seriousness and they were men to be feared. In fact verse 14 says that the weakest could kill 100 and the strongest 1000 men! Can you imagine?! I would like to suggest that as wise women who take their ministry at home seriously we are just as dangerous to the enemy!

While these mighty men prepared to battle for David, they first spent three days with David eating and drinking and feasting. In fact the Scriptures tell us that they were filled with "Joy"! Why?!? Why could they eat and celebrate before battle? I believe it was because they were without fear! They knew they had prepared diligently, they knew they walked with God, and knew that the battle was His! So, what does this have to do with motherhood and being a wife?

First, we too must be dressed for battle. Do we wake every day and put on the full armor of God? Do we wake and give thanks for the Helmet of Salvation? Do we repent of sin and put on the breastplate of righteousness (right standing with God)? Do we spend time in the Word daily? We must be wearing the belt of Truth and have our feet shod in the preparation of the Gospel of Peace. Let's not forget our shield of faith. We'll need it... trust me! Also, we need to take up the sword of the Spirit so that we can fight the good fight! When the enemy starts to whisper lies to us, (fiery darts) we will put up our shield of faith and recall all the promises of God! We will speak the Word... No! My children are not a burden. The Scriptures tell me that Children are a blessing from the Lord! No! My husband is not going to reject God... He will turn His heart toward His maker and serve Him in Truth. The Scriptures say that if I believe, I and MY HOUSEHOLD shall be saved! NO! I will not be afraid of.... (You fill in the blank) For God has not given me a spirit of Fear but a spirit of Power, Love and a Sound Mind!

Once we get in the habit of dressing for battle daily and spend time daily to study the war that we are in, we will live that abundant life that the Lord came to give us! We will be able to feast in His Word and have great Joy, even when we see the battle coming. We will be as David's men- well prepared, dressed for battle, without fear and with full confidence that the battle is the Lord’s!

You may think I am being dramatic, please forgive me! I am truly trying to present how serious our calling as wife and mother is. Please, hear me! There is a battle raging for our families. The enemy would like to do nothing more than to destroy our homes, rob our marriages, and steal the hearts of our children! We have to look at the Spiritual aspects of motherhood before we will ever be successful with the physical aspects.

Okay, so let's assume we're dressed for battle... now what can we do? I am going to take your note and share some thoughts with you. Please prayerfully consider what I have to say. I have prayed about my reply to you and trust Him to keep "Jeanette" out of the response and only His Words to penetrate your heart.

To be continued...