Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Monday, April 19, 2010

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Do MY boys ever act rowdy?

Question: Do your boys ever act rowdy? How rowdy is too rowdy? Where's the line between boy aggressiveness and bad?

Answer: YES, YES, YES!! Remember, I am a momma to seven boys so the words rowdy, rambunctious, aggressive, competitive, loud, crashing, thumping, house shaking, and unpredictable all go hand in hand. It’s not uncommon to hear me say, “Boys?!” After hearing a thud or feeling the vibration of the house shake! They’re just having fun and I realize this. I know they aren’t dreaming of tea parties and scones like my girls and I are. I know they dream of romping through the woods from the moment they wake up to the moment they lay down at night. They have forts, “battles”, “kingdoms” and strategies that the girls and I just don’t get the hang of. Five nights out of the week they have a full wrestling match going on with cheering and all! Then there’s the arm wrestling, the archery range, and of course the secret code book that they go over almost on a daily basis. They share their adventures with us, tell us how someone rebelled against what team, who was captured and how (now that’s the intense part). Yet, I can’t  remember the last time someone cried, complained or came in hurt. Even in all of this they have self control… most of the time! :-)

The rule in our home is, “If one’s not having fun then none is having fun.”  That’s the line for us! If you don’t observe that rule, then that’s when you’ve gone too far! We encourage our children to esteem others first, even in their play. If you think something is fun but the other person doesn’t then you don’t do it. You find something that you both enjoy and can do without fighting or hurting one another. They know each others boundaries and they don’t cross them. There is never a good reason or time to not care about another person. The boys are rough yet, they are still careful even when they are knee deep in action packed adventure. They’ve done some pretty “wild” things. Like, duct taping a younger brother that was being “held hostage” in exchange for more “territory”  or capturing a “spy” (aka: brother) and tying him to the swing set (who the girls rescued safely).  I don’t know what the child in the picture did that I have posted below but he must have done something that got him in that pickle. They were all so excited to show me what they had accomplished. They walked over to the house window, where I was sitting; I gasped and felt my heart drop to my stomach when I noticed the little one’s smile and could hear the laughter through the window pane. Bekah took a photo real quick and of course they were all proud to show off their victory for her. They have learned that everyone has more fun when they obey this rule as well as our second rule… “There is a time and Season for every purpose under Heaven.” We teach the boys when it is okay to be rowdy and when it isn’t. For the most part they don’t have any problem in this area.

Being a momma to boys is an learning adventure for me. I am trying to do my best to cultivate tender hearted young men but also strong men. I want my boys to live out their boyish dreams (safely), I want them to remember me as an understanding and patient mom… most of the time. And when they finally say good-bye to their childhood days, I don’t want either of us to have any regrets. Now I must confess, there are moments when I go to my husband and check to make sure everything is still “okay”. He assures me it is and I just take another deep breath! So, to answer your question…. YES! MY boys are rowdy, very rowdy! However, the rule that is etched in their minds and hearts keeps everyone happy and having fun! “If one’s not having fun then none is having fun.”

With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood
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  1. Thank you for answering my question!!! After reading your post (I didn't have time to comment because I was on my way to Bible study and a playdate) I found myself "lightening up" with the boys during the play date and letting my son be a little more rowdy without reprimanding him. It's so hard for me to know the line - but I like your rule - "If one's not having fun then none is having fun". And at the playdate the boys were having a ball - so I guess the wildness was okay!

    So was the little guy in the picture having fun?? It's so hard for me to understand boys fully!!!! Thanks for your guidance as always!!!
    Much Love,

  2. And now for the rest of the story... LOL! I asked Ezekiel about that day (it was winter of 2009 that the picture was taken). He could remember the event in detail! With a smile he said, "Oh yeah! We were all having fun! That's the time we told him, Matthew, that if he kept trying to overcome Elisha's kingdom we would tie up and so he decided to try and attack Elisha again so, well we had to tie him up. I think he wanted us to do it actually!" :-) Those are Ezekiels words. I know Matthew would probably have another story like... "Yes, I was having fun I escaped moments after that photo was taken and conquered my quest!" or something similar. BOYS!?!