A Moment in Proverbs 2/15/10

Chapter 15 of Proverbs starts out by talking about the tongue; a constant message in the Wood family home. I want to encourage you to get a resource that has been a blessing to our family over the years. It is called, The Tongue- Our Measure written by Simo Ralevic' I believe you can still buy copies of this small book through The Banner of Truth Trust. There are only 62 pages to this paperback treasure.Yet, the message shared within these pages are timeless! We have read it to our children from a very early age. I believe we have studied it as a family three times. Each time we read it we were encouraged, and sharpened. I believe the shortest amount of time that we have ever completed this book was three weeks. There is simply so much good family discussion that comes from reading a simple paragraph. It is a book to really digest, not merely read! When the children were little we had to break it down in bite size pieces for them. We were able to put into practice the "four guards" that the author talks about guarding the mouth. The children would hold up four fingers over their mouths and ask them selves questions to see if each guard could 'step down' if one guard was left 'standing' in front of the mouth they would know it wasn't the time to speak. This taught them to take time to think about what they said before they said it.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. 

Teaching our children to slow down, put on the mind of Christ, and think about what they are going to say is essential. The home is the place God has ordained for us to learn these skills, and others. We need to teach toddlers to speak softly and sweetly. When we hear them bark, "NO! that's mine!" or any other toddler like command, we reply with a look of shock, a quiet voice and instruction saying, "oh, no no.. Jesus doesn't want us to talk like that. Can you ask sister to share with you in a nice voice?". I then help them ask nicely and sometimes have to practice this several times before they learn it for themselves. We need to teach our elementary children to respond to hurtful comments or actions with prayer and grace instead of words spoken in anger,  and we teach our teens to love those that speak evil of them. However the greatest lesson we can teach our children is through our own example. We need to show them how to respond to gossip, slander and hatred with 'soft words'. I have found God always provides plenty of real life experience to put my example to practice! :-)  When our children witness us dealing with conflict do they see us speaking grievously? How do we know if what we are saying is grievous? Well, if what we are saying stirs up more anger.. in us, those around us and/or the person that has offended us, then those words are grievous! Let us each strive to bridle our tongue for a wholesome tongue is a tree of life! Proverbs 15: 4

A Moment of Training8/22/09

Teaching children how to communicate is something that is not isolated to one household or one personality type! We have found wisdom in training our children in proper skills for communication. Here are two fun ideas we have used in our home throughout the years. Each idea was originally shared with us by precious friends and Sisters in Christ.

Here's an idea to teach children to keep an coversation going.

Teach children that when someone talks to them to pretend that what they are really wanting to do is play ball. If they only give one word answers then they are holding onto the ball. To demonstate this concept, get a ball and have the children sit on the floor. The person holding the ball is allowed to speak. You can't throw the ball unless you say something more than one word.

For example:

Bekah has ball and while tossing it to Elisha says: "Hi! My name is Bekah what's your's?"

Elisha now has the ball. He replies, "Elisha Wood, it's nice to meet you" (now he can throw it back to her)

Bekah then says: "Do you come to these dances often?" (she throws the ball back to Elisha)

Elisha has the ball and says: "Yes, we have come to a few. How about you?"

This may sound easy but for children who are use to giving short answers this takes some training. We have fun with this game and it is a good visual for them to remember when we are out in public.

What about those children that have LOTS to say. How do you keep them focused on caring about others and giving others an opportunity to share? Many years ago a friend shared this idea with me. Before you are allowed to talk about yourself you must ask the other person three questions of interst about themselves.

For example:

Bekah: "Hi Elisha! Do you enjoy art?" (question 1)

Elisha: "Yes, art is a favorite of mine."

Bekah: "Really? Who is your favorite artist?"
Elisha: "That would be hard for me to say. I enjoy several different artists"

Bekah: "I love to travel and see the vareity of artists displayed across the country. Have you been out of state?" (question 2)

Elisha: "Yes. I have visted several states"

Bekah: "Really, which ones?"

Elisha: "I use to live in CA so I visted each state that we crossed to get to KS. I am also taking a trip with my grandparents to Wash. D.C. next Spring."

Bekah: "WOW! I would love to go to Wash. D.C."

Bekah: "I really enjoyed my trip to TX. I took a tour and learned a great deal about John F. Kenndy and L.B.J. Do you enjoy studing government?" (question3)

Elisha: "I find some of it interesting."

After this point Bekah is now able to talk about whatever interest she has. She has asked her three questions. It use to make Joe and I giggle when we watched our oldest boy, Jed, talk with others. You could see on his face when he had reached his third question and he could finally tell them something that was so exciting to him.

I hope this has helped give you some ideas for your own family. I would love to hear how the Lord leads you so please feel free to share!

Have a wonderful weekend friends!

Mrs. Joseph Wood