Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

M.O.M.'s Mailbox- Living as a Helpmeet

Question: I am confused about my role as a helpmeet can you explain this to me?

Answer: There is so much I would love to share about this subject. The Lord has taught me so tenderly in this area. I hope some of this, while it may only be a tid bit of what you need, meets your need perfectly!

Many people don't really understand the concept and order that the Lord has ordained as proper. If I even mention submission as a beautiful order that fills a home with unspeakable Joy it causes people to mock, and shake their heads with disbelief. Some consider being submissive as a synonym for being a door mat. Others are afraid to let their husbands lead, fearing where he might lead them. However, being a helpmeet is none of these things and should not cause fear to fill our hearts. Let me share some things I have learned about this powerful position I hold as my Joe's helpmeet. Keep in mind, I continue to learn and grow in my role on a daily basis.

Some tips I have learned:

  • My first tip to any young woman who wanted to learn this vital role as helpmeet, would be to look in your local church body. Look for woman that are thriving in their ministries at home. Women who are 'real', woman who love to teach as directed by Scripture and welcome you with all your questions! Take a great deal of time in prayer about who you learn from. Remember, a companion of fools suffers harm.  
  • We need to see ourselves as true helpmeets to our husbands, created perfectly for them! No one could do a better job than you! The question is will we do the job we were created to do?
  • A helpmeet is timely. A helpmeet does speak out and warn them of danger. A helpmeet does remain quiet and allow them to hear the voice of the Lord. A helpmeet prays for her husband. A helpmeet confronts her husband. A helpmeet joyfully serves her husband as unto the Lord at all times!  I am often asked, "How do I know when to say something or when to just be quiet?" As a helpmeet we have a biblical responsibility to point out danger to our husbands as we might see it. For most of us the problem is that we normally want to point out everything to our husbands! We want them to do things our way instead of us living to fulfill the vision that God has placed in their hearts. We want equal treatment instead of the time honored spot as a daughter of Sarah. 
  • A helpmeet is no help at all if she is not a prayerful helpmeet! If we don't earnestly seek the Lord on our husbands behalf.. why is what we have to say of any importance? 
  • A helpmeet is aware of her personal walk with the Lord and always striving to grow in her role as a Daughter of the King. 
  • A helpmeet checks her heart motive with the Lord before she acts! We must first make sure that our heart motive is right before the Lord, then we can gently and lovingly point out any danger we might see-much like a yellow caution road sign. In general, a helpmeet shares the danger she sees and then leaves the results with God.. she trusts that God is big enough to care for her and her family even when she isn't sure she can trust her husband. 
  • A  helpmeet is not deafening her husbands ears with her constant nagging, complaining, whining and demanding. She knows there is power in keeping quiet, joyfully serving him and letting God lead him! I remember a time, years ago, when I was wanting Joe to do something and I constantly 'bugged' him about it. Finally, I just gave up. I didn't say a word about it. It was a few months later that he came to me with this 'great idea' of what he was wanting to do. I looked at him cross eyed and said, "Why is that I begged you to do that for months and you wouldn't budge but now you decide it's a great idea?" He looked at me and truthfully said, "Jeanette when you shut up, I could finally hear God." He didn't say it in a mean voice, quite the contrary. He was very gentle, genuine and true. I learned from that moment on that there is power in letting God talk. I learned that He doesn't need me to be his microphone! 
There is a balance, a beautiful balance, when one's heart is fixed on the Lord. Take some time to go through the Scriptures and consider the women that God has given us as examples, there is so much to be learned. I have learned a great deal as I have studied the lives of women in the Bible.. there are life changing gems in those precious Sisters! I know I only touched the surface of a very important position. Feel free to ask more questions and I will share as He leads!
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood


  1. Great exhaustive list - gives us all so much to work on. We simply never master doing these things for our husbands - we must pray daily and discipline ourselves to be the helpmeet God calls us to be. I am convinced it's a life long journey of learning to walk in this way. Walk in the Spirit!


  2. It is hard but it is a daily decision to be the wife my husband needs. Thank you for the encouragement.
    I linked back to your blog today...


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