Question: How do I submit to my husband when he does things that I know he shouldn’t be doing as the leader of our home?
Answer: First, let me tell you that you are not the first person nor the last to ask me this question. There are two different roles that you must prayerfully consider. There are times that you need to say something, (although I believe those times are much less frequent than we all use) and then there are times we should remain quiet and in prayer. Knowing the difference between these two times takes wisdom (which you can only get from a personal study and relationship with the Lord). As Sisters we can share and encourage each other with our own experiences. So often we know the right response to the big issues such as abuse and crime yet, the answers to the little daily trials are more challenging. I can tell you that the “secret” to submission is focusing on YOUR response and not your husbands. You can only change YOU so put your efforts into that project! With that said, let me share with you five observations I have made through the years. Consider where or if you fall into any of these categories and then prayerfully make the changes in your life as needed. After reading these, if you have more questions please feel free to write me. I am always honored to share and pray as the Lord leads.
Women spend much more time complaining than they ever do praying! It is as if praying is “doing nothing” and the frustration builds inside until they explode. They are too quick to speak in frustration to their husbands instead of faithfully pray for their husbands.
Women want to be served, protected and treated with respect. I know the desire to be cherished by our husband and I also know the satisfaction of having that desired fulfilled. I can tell you from personal experience that it was not fulfilled until I surrendered my desires to God! When I stopped looking at what I wanted from Joe and started looking at what he needed from me is when I found our marriage grew by leaps and bounds. When I spent my time working on getting my heart in the right response to Him, God moved in my Joe’s heart as well. Without any late night conversation or tearful plea from me, my Joe began to treat me as a jewel to be treasured, communicate with me, and protect me.
Women aren’t patient with their husbands spiritual growth. I often hear frustration from women because their husbands aren’t where they think they should be. While women openly admit that they aren’t where they want to be and that they make mistakes they don’t extend that same grace to their husbands. Some of the expectations women put on their husbands are nothing short of hoops at the circus, you know the ones with flames?! Ladies, your husband is working out his Salvation too! Granted, it may not be as fast or in the way you want, nonetheless God is working with him! We need to be patient and fervent in our prayers for our men!
Women don’t view their role as Helpmeet with the gravity that it should be considered. They don’t consider that they are to be a woman their husbands can trust and strive for such an honor! Many women don’t consider the awesome responsibility of their position nor do they humbly use that influence in a way that would glorify God. When women truly die to their self and minister faithfully to their husbands day in and day out… lives are changed and marriages are transformed!
Women don’t love their husbands in the same way that they demand their husbands love them! I often hear from women that are frustrated that their husbands want to be intimate with them too often or at all the wrong times. They act as if his requests are selfish and hormonal yet if they want to be with him and he is unable or unwilling they see it as rejection? What a mess! Sisters we can not buy into the lies of the world! This is a very long topic so let me just sum it up and say that if you responded to your husband in a God glorifying manner, in the same way you would want him to treat you, you will have a heart change in the process and this won’t even be an issue any longer!
May the Lord transform our hearts as we grow in His grace,
With much love,
Mrs. Joseph Wood