Titus 2:3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the younger women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

M.O.M.’s Mailbox- Why am I so angry?

Psa 145:8 

The LORD is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.

Question: I would love it if you could come to my house and train me to be the mommy God has called me to be. I know that I need Him to store this information into my being and let it all out onto my children what a blessing that would be ---I want it and need it. I have difficult days (not as often as they once were)with yelling and it breaks my heart to know what I have done to my children. With prayer and him changing me I am a better mother than I was when I first became a mother almost 7 years ago. But, I am torn....I need Him to do a complete overhaul and he wants to change me little by little... I am not patient. thank you for sharing the wisdom he has blessed you and your family. Before having children anger issues didn't come up and now that I have children anger has come out of me.... Why????

Answer: Thank you for taking the time to write. From reading your note I can see that God is working in your life and you are not who you were, nor are you who you are going to be. Each day we are learning, growing, and dying to our flesh. Each day He continues to take this lump of clay and mold it! How thankful I am for the work He is doing in my life and yours! So, I start by saying, “Be encouraged! God is working in your life!” Secondly, the answers to “why” can often evade us.  I encourage you to not get stuck on the answers of “why” but to place your attention on growing in His image. Putting aside those things that are behind and pressing forward to the mark! There are so many factors to consider: Selfishness, impatience, hormones, unforgiveness, stress, and the list could go on. Bottom line is that God does not want his people living in bondage to a spirit of anger!  Anger robs us of our joy! Anger is never satisfied, the more that we allow it room in our lives the more it grows. Anger is something that we must root out of our lives. We want to reflect the character of God to our children therefore we must get victory in this area! So where do we start how do we undo what can be so ingrained in us? Let me share a few things that I have learned over the years:

  • Anger is often the result of frustration, frustration is often the result of not dealing with a situation in a timely manner. Make sure that you are keeping short accounts and dealing with issues as they come up so they don’t build up and then you explode.
  • Never make excuses for your bad behavior. Repent and daily work on doing better! It’s not a sin to be angry but it is wrong to sin because of our anger. Eph 4:26  Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
  • Remember the power of gentle words! When you are in a conflict remind yourself to keep your words few, true, and gentle. Pro 15:1  A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
  • Consider doing a word study on the subject of anger and see what God has to say on the subject. There is much wisdom in His Word!
  • Make yourself accountable. Talk with your husband and share your struggle, commit the matter to prayer and strive to live a life that glorifies God in all your actions. You will discover that He will be faithful to transform you. When He does, make sure you go and encourage others! Luk 22:31-32  And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.

I will be praying for you in this matter as the Lord brings you to mind. I look forward to hearing of the good work He is doing in your life!

Because of His Grace,

Mrs. Joseph Wood


  1. Several years ago I bought Teri Maxwell's book "Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit". What an encouragement to those who struggle with this. Perhaps it will help
    your reader too:-)

  2. Thank you for the book suggestion Suzanne. The Maxwell's are precious people and I am sure it would be a blessing to her!
    Have a wonderful week!
    Mrs. Joseph Wood

  3. Yes, I have read the Maxwell book too - during a time when I was working on gentleness in my life. It was good. Another great post Mrs. Wood! Thanks!

  4. I feel like #1 in your bullet points hits the nail on the head--thanks for the reminder. I have been reading your blog for a few months and find your wisdom and honesty very encouraging--thank-you.

  5. Thank you Mrs. Wood. I am printing off now and I will be doing a word study as you have suggested and I know the Lord has heard my hearts cry. All of your points are very helpful to me and will be applying them. And to the other ladies-I have heard of that book but now I think I must get it. Thank you again for your wisdom.

  6. I'm so glad you posted this question because I love the wisdom you shared in your answer. The question is one that I so often would wonder myself. I never realized I was an impatient person until I had children, perhaps I was always impatient and that once I had kids it came out in me. My first child will soon be 8 and in these past 8 years I have failed many times in my anger towards my kids. But here is something that my pastor has said many times in his messages that has always stuck with me, "we DO have self-control when it comes to anger, because when we are in public we don't yell and scream at our kids, it is when we are in the privacy of our own homes that we think we can get away with it". Isn't that the truth? We have self-control in public, so we can have that same self-control in private too.
    I am one that can testify that a person who is angry won't always be angry, the Lord has done quite a work in my life- and it is only through prayer and the study of His Word that has helped. There is a lot of good reading material out there on this subject, but nothing can replace being in the Word, and being in His presence through prayer. I'm still a work in progress, I'm not perfect and will never be perfect, but the Lord is faithful and is working in me, and He can work in you too if you let him.
    Julianne :)